Jaywalker Doesn’t Want to Take Ticket Sitting Down

The following crime story is true in every detail, except for the name of the perpetrator, which has been changed to “Big Ed” to protect his identity.

It was 7:30 on the evening of Dec. 11. A light rain was falling as Big Ed walked the couple of blocks from a steakhouse on Beach Boulevard in Huntington Beach to a mall parking lot where he’d left his car after buying some salmon pate for an office Christmas party the next day. The pate proved immensely unappealing, but that’s another story.

Big Ed considers himself kind of a law-and-order guy, so as he stood at the busy intersection of Beach and Ellis, drizzle aplenty, he waited for the walk signal. Although as a kid he became practiced at weaving through fast-moving traffic while on foot, Big Ed realizes he’s lost a step now and might get hit and cause an awful mess to clean up. He’s also more responsible nowadays and when traffic is visible, Big Ed waits for the light.

After crossing Beach, he proceeded west on Ellis a short distance to an odd little junction of streets and at that corner, Big Ed needed to cross the street to get to the parking lot. The light standard across the street had a light for the east-west traffic, but no light or electronic walk signal facing Big Ed.

Looking both ways, and without an east-west car in sight, Big Ed figured he could cross the street without wreaking havoc on the community. So empty was the street that he didn’t even have to dash; he walked.

After reaching the opposite sidewalk unscathed, though, Big Ed heard those magic words that either came from a loudspeaker or someone with a voice that carried extremely well: “Excuse me, sir.”

Surprise! From some unknown and unseen vantage point in their patrol car, two Huntington Beach cops had witnessed what Big Ed had just done and apparently could not stomach it.

As one waited in the car, the other stepped out and asked Big Ed for his license and where he was going. He’s a little fuzzy on this point, but he wasn’t even sure he knew he had jaywalked. All he remembers is that there was no electric sign, no traffic, and it was raining.

Alas, there was a sign. Big Ed swears he didn’t see it, but it was there, one of those painted signs of a pedestrian with the red slash through him. Perhaps Big Ed was geared to looking for an electric sign, but facts are facts, and Big Ed was in violation. Still, with no outstanding warrants on him, Big Ed expected a sermonette and nothing more.

The officer thought otherwise. He began writing the ticket. Big Ed was dumbfounded. As he got increasingly hot under the collar and wet on the top of his head, Big Ed reminded himself that only idiots don’t support police.

Polite throughout, the officer told Big Ed the jaywalking ticket probably would cost him “about $35” and that a notice would come in the mail. That irritated Big Ed, but he remained mum. Over the next couple of weeks, he set about getting on with his life. Then, the other day, the notice arrived: $55 to pay by mail.

Big Ed saw red again. He phoned the court but got nothing but a series of recordings. The ticket indicated he can appear in person if he wants to contest the fine. Forget it. Big Ed doesn’t need that kind of aggro.

If the fine were reasonable, he might have been able to swallow his indignation. Something like $10 to $20 is a good slap-on-the-wrist for a penny-ante violation. Fifty-five dollars is a kick in the groin. And don’t tell him the cops don’t set the fines: When they wrote the ticket they knew Big Ed would have to pay it.

He remembers driving a few years ago along Garden Grove Boulevard and being pulled over for driving five to 10 miles over the limit. The Garden Grove officer who stopped him determined from a records check that Big Ed wasn’t a felon and that he hadn’t been drinking. He sent him on his way without issuing a ticket.

To Big Ed, that’s textbook police work: protecting us from potential troublemakers but not squeezing people who pose no threat.

The latest incident prompted him to recall a conversation he’d had months ago with another citizen who decried “taxation by citation.” Cities have lost revenue streams, the man suggested, so instead of taxing people they nickel-and-dime them on citations.

Big Ed wants police to arrest criminals and enforce laws that serve the public. He wonders why they go out of their way to annoy people who don’t endanger the public. Why do they have to act like repressed schoolmarms and write jaywalking tickets in the rain?

Big Ed will cough up the $55, but, please, don’t talk to him about lessons. The only one he learned involves the police.

Yes, Big Ed wants to respect the cops. What he wants to know is, why can’t they respect Big Ed?

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by writing to him at the Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or calling (714) 966-7821.