Ross Porter Finds His Place in ‘Baseball’s Greatest’

Ross Porter, who was fired as a Dodger broadcaster before the season began, told listeners on KMPC-AM (1540) that he recently called his local bookstore to order a copy of “Voices of Summer: Baseball’s Greatest Announcers,” by Curt Smith.

When Porter went to pick up the book, he noticed a yellow piece of paper sticking out of it, bearing the message: “We miss you on the Dodger broadcasts -- you’re on Page 278.” Sure enough, there was Porter, listed at No. 61 on the all-time list.

No. 1? Vin Scully, of course.

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Babbling one: One of my favorites, Ralph Kiner, made No. 42 for his work with the Mets, which included occasional funny gaffes. Some examples of Kinerese:

* “It’s Father’s Day today, so to all you fathers out there, happy birthday.”

* “Scott Sanderson was traded from Montreal on Pearl Harbor Day, June 7, 1983.”

* And, finally, this observation about an outfielder named Mookie Wilson: “Rookie Wilson was a candidate for Mookie of the Year.”

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Guide to Adventurous Dining: Today’s specials du column include:

* Some sushi that thinks only of itself, from Bennett Mintz of Chatsworth (see photo).

* Unforgiving potatoes, from Gregg Fritche of Walnut (see photo).

* And, finally, a meat dish with a hint of the King of the Beasts, from Phil Proctor of Beverly Hills (see accompanying). “What does lion smell like?” wondered Proctor.

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In case you’re wondering: Proctor came upon that dish at an Italian restaurant during an overseas trip. An Italian restaurant in Dublin, Ireland.

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Unclear on the concept: Several readers informed me that it was I who was unclear about the Hawaiian newspaper ad that said, “Local Bananas (except Apple) 89 cents per pound.”

There is such an animal or, rather, a fruit called an apple banana. Widely grown in Hawaii, “it is not seen much here in L.A.” said Howard Berk of Glendale. “It’s not commercially viable because it’s a very small banana and doesn’t ship well.”

Berk added that the apple banana “is given that name because of the aftertaste, which is clearly of an apple.”

“There are many strange banana varieties, such as the ice cream banana, which is very creamy and has the consistency of ice cream in one’s mouth.”

And don’t I feel like I stepped on a peel?

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miscelLAny: Charley Steiner, Ross Porter’s replacement on the Dodger broadcasts, used to work for the New York Yankees (and did not make the list of broadcasting greats).

Steiner’s obviously taken with the sights of Southern California, judging from this startling comment about the improving play of the Dodgers’ J.D. Drew: “Drew looks like he’s about to U-turn his Queen Mary in the Pacific.”

Every story in Southern California has a traffic angle.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at [email protected].