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The World on a String

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From a technology standpoint, Grasmere, England, is a black hole.

This charming 18th century village in the heart of the Lake District has no automated teller machines, no cyber cafes and no mobile phone service. The cottage we rented didn’t even have a telephone.

We had to drive four miles south to Ambleside before our mobile phone could connect to its cell network. Tiny Ambleside had three cyber cafes and an ATM nearly everywhere you turned.

So how do I explain the fact that my week in Grasmere was one of the most productive of my summer-long working vacation in Europe?

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More technology is supposed to make us more prolific. But the reality is we’re at the dawn, possibly predawn, of the Digital Age, and it’s already outstripped human capacity to cope with it. How many e-mails, voice mails and cell-phone calls can one person handle in a day before his senses shut down and productivity begins to decline?

The solution, of course, is balance. Live in Grasmere and visit Ambleside when you must. It worked for me.

The Lake District has always had a bias against technology and life in the fast lane. More than 150 years ago, the poet William Wordsworth, a local celebrity born in Cockermouth and buried in Grasmere, wrote:

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The world is too much with us; late and soon

Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers.

It’s too long for a bumper sticker, but you get the idea.

Here I am criticizing technology when this article is supposed to sing its praises. Let me begin.

My two-month experiment is over. When Delta Flight 61 lifted off the tarmac at London’s Gatwick Airport, I reflected on the trip and came to the quick conclusion it was a complete success.

Granted, I initially expected that, James Bond-like, I would be able to access the Web from the remotest corner of the world using the infrared link from my laptop to my cell phone. That didn’t work.

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I also thought I had the self-discipline to work two or three hours a day, four or five days a week. That didn’t work either (see my previous article on Greece). But the bottom line is that I was able to meet my deadlines, keep my clients satisfied and enjoy Europe.

If I can make it work, why is George Dubya taking so much flak over his working vacation? The answer is simple. Bush has a public relations problem, not a communications problem. His handlers can’t figure out how to convince America that the chief is “in touch” metaphorically.

It’s clear he’s in touch literally--via phone, videoconferencing, e-mails, etc.--with Congress, his staff in Washington and world leaders.

After all, presidents were running the country from Camp David, Air Force One and other locations long before Gore invented the Internet.

If Bush decides to take his next working vacation in Europe, I’d like to pass along a few tips that will ensure its success.

* Never plug your laptop into a socket that says “For Shavers Only.”

* If you can’t find an Internet cafe, ask around. Don’t be surprised if you’re directed to a pub, electronics store, health club, youth hostel or local library. These are just a few places I found access. And they typically don’t advertise. You have to ask people in the know: tourist office clerks, taxi drivers or anyone younger than 19.

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While in Bibury--another delightful black hole nestled in the Cotswolds--I was initially told the closest cyber cafe was in Cirencester, a mid-size town about 10 miles away. But a local hotel manager sent me to the combination Royal Post Office/grocery store in the nearby village of Coln St. Aldwyn.

Sure enough, in the only business establishment in this ivy-covered hamlet, a lone computer sat glowing between a rack of salt-and-vinegar crisps and a row of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes.

* Keep your options open for getting online. I connected my laptop to telephone jacks in the rooms and homes we rented, and I used cyber cafes and equivalents. I brought along a Zip and a floppy drive to connect to the computers at cafes in case I needed to download files to take back to my laptop.

Because it’s easier to send and receive e-mails from my own laptop, I asked a few Internet joints whether I could hook up my laptop to their analog or Ethernet connection. They said yes.

* When it comes to hardware, don’t pack the kitchen sink. Here’s what I brought: laptop, portable printer, Zip and floppy drives, telephone-line tester, mobile phone and phone-line and electric-socket adapters for each country.

* Do your bills and banking online. We never could have managed our household finances the two months we were away without these services.

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* A secure home front means peace of mind on the road. We asked an intelligent, efficient and dependable family friend to house-sit. Her most important instruction: Never tell us about a disaster--grease fire, death of a pet, flood, etc. It would only ruin our trip, and there’s nothing we could do about it anyway.

* Rent houses by the week whenever possible, especially if you bring your family. Rentals give you the feel, stability and routine of home. They are less expensive than B&Bs; and provide a separate, quiet area where you can work.

* Savor local life. We saw Big Ben, but we also attended a Sunday-afternoon fund-raiser for the Aldeburgh District and Community Hospital, and queued up with locals at a neighborhood fish and chips shop.

* If you need a TV fix, watch the commercials. On the whole, they’re more entertaining and creative than U.S. ads. The rest of the programming is just as bad as ours.

Finally, I can think of only two things I would do differently next time around: add more Grasmeres and Biburys to our itinerary and go for the convenient though expensive--versus the inconvenient and low cost--mobile-phone option.

It would have been easier to arrive in Europe with a one-number worldwide cell phone. I had to change my mobile phone’s Subscriber Identity Module card, and hence phone number, every time I changed countries. Clients had a hard enough time remembering where I was, much less a new phone number every few weeks.

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The crowning achievement of our trip is that for an entire summer, I had my priorities straight. Back home, I basically work all the time and have to force myself to take a few days off here and there. In Europe, I had to force myself to work. I flew kites and took long walks with my kids and watched more sunsets with my wife in two weeks than in the previous year.

The trick will be keeping this vacation attitude, if not the schedule, once our plane touches down in Salt Lake City.

Ironically enough, the solution to this problem is also the cause: technology. Computers, cell phones and the World Wide Web created a 24/7 umbilical connection to the office. But used with care and forethought, these same tools can make the digital world a pleasant place to live. It seems the only way to escape technology is to pack it along on a working vacation.

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Kevin Ryan is a freelance writer and author of the upcoming business-writing book “Write Up the Corporate Ladder.”

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