LAUGH LINES

On the Campaign Trail: A tabloid says it has photos of a nude George W. Bush dancing on a bar. “Now Bush says he’s going to use the photo in his campaign. In fact that’s his new slogan: ‘Governs like a Republican, parties like a Democrat.’ ” (Jay Leno)

On the Campaign Trail II: President Clinton told Dan Rather that if Hillary did run for the Senate, he has no idea what the duties of the husband of a senator are. “I don’t think he has any idea what the duties of a regular husband are.” (Leno)

Happy Birthday: Al Gore turned 51. “His staff threw him a surprise birthday party. Apparently, he was so moved, he almost moved.” (Conan O’Brien)

The Good Word: To promote a hip rewrite of the Bible, Pat Robertson kicked off his publicity tour at New York’s Grand Central Station. “In fact, he inspired New York City commuters to deluge Robertson with questions like, ‘Was that the train to Flushing?’ and ‘Why are you blocking the token booth?’ ” (Jon Stewart)

The Annals of Science: Researchers say they’ve discovered that strands of DNA conduct electricity. “They’re hardly the first ones to figure this out. In Washington, D.C., Bill Clinton’s DNA almost fried him.” (Argus Hamilton)

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