Pitino Needs More Than Leprechauns

Where have you gone, M.L. Carr: Their tradition is over, their rebuilding program lies in ruin and their genius is trying to stamp out an incipient mutiny.

Aside from that, how do you like the Boston Celtics’ rebirth?

The gloves are finally off in Boston, where they are facing some hard truths about Rick Pitino, who was supposedly running and pressing them back to glory but now finds himself halfway down the lottery.

“I bought into a lot of it myself,” says Bob Cousy, the Celtics’ TV commentator and living legend, “but it hasn’t happened.”

What went wrong?

Oh, everything.

Pitino charmed birds out of the sky so long, he forgot there were limits to what even he can get away with. People learned that if he praised a player--say, broken-down Pervis Ellison--it generally meant the guy was useless, was taking up millions under the salary cap and Pitino was desperate to dump him.

Having worked in the NBA, Pitino neglected to factor in his eight years away. He grabbed players he knew from college recruiting wars or summer camps, then panicked, trying to bail himself out.

He signed Chris Mills for $33 million and traded him in camp for four Knicks, only one of whom--reserve Walter McCarty--remains.

He drafted Chauncey Billups third in the draft and traded him in his rookie season for Kenny Anderson, who had five years left on his contract, at $7.5 million per.

He was so relieved the new rules kept Antoine Walker from demanding $115 million, he gave him

$71 million, after which Walker’s fire-from-anywhere game lost its charm and fans began booing whenever he touched the ball.

“I don’t mind the booing,” said the unrepentant Walker, failing, as usual, to grasp the point, “but on every shot? Is that going to make things better?”

Players always grumbled about Pitino’s obsessive, tyrannical style but forgave him when they won. Now they’re losing and he’s getting louder.

The Boston Globe’s Michael Holley, citing three unidentified sources, reported that Pitino screamed at Paul Pierce for missing free throws in a one-point loss to the New Jersey Nets on March 1, reducing the rookie to tears. Pierce, who averaged 20 points in February and was already considered their best player, went 0 for 11 his next time out and dropped to 10 a game in March.

Their second-best player is Ron Mercer. The Globe reported that Celtic officials fear he dislikes Pitino so much, he won’t re-sign.

“Everyone is asking if the team quit on me,” a defiant Pitino said. “I can’t wait to get it started toward next season. . . . I’m staking my reputation. I’ve never lost. But I took over an expansion team.”

That’s fair enough and he’s good enough, he might pull it off. Of course, first he has to find another point guard.

“I’m not going to give you any names but there’s only one guy on this team I don’t enjoy coaching, “ Pitino told Holley, “I don’t like people who are not passionate about the game of basketball. And I don’t like cowards.”

Insiders say he means Anderson.

SOME GO UP, SOME GO DOWN

Players who helped themselves a lot in the NCAA tournament:

* Baron Davis, UCLA--Unless a doctor’s report on his knee scares teams, he’s a sure top-10 pick, probably top five. “I knew he was an outtasight athlete,” said a once-skeptical general manager, “but I didn’t know he was that outtasight.”

* Wally Szczerbiak, Miami of Ohio--Pros hadn’t seen much of this late bloomer. What’s not to like?

* Richard Hamilton, Connecticut--Pros had questions about his skinny frame, but he sure looked like a gamer.

* Ron Artest, St. John’s--Lot of game for a 6-foot-6, 235-pounder.

* Harold (the Show) Arceneaux, Weber State--Who ever heard of him before he busted North Carolina?

* Matt Santangelo, Gonzaga--Got himself on the list of players they’ll be looking at next season.

And some who didn’t:

* Mateen Cleaves, Michigan State--Took the Spartans a long way, but pros are off him. No range, no accuracy. Too many better point guards in the draft but the word is, he may come out anyway.

* Kenny Thomas, New Mexico--As usual, this 6-8, 250-pounder stunk up his final game. “He’ll have to show himself in the draft camps,” says a general manager. “People are confused.”

* Khalid El-Amin, Connecticut--Made the big shot against Duke. Big heart, short body, questionable playmaker.

FACES AND FIGURES

Lie down with mercenaries, wake up with bills: Alonzo Mourning of the Miami Heat, who probably makes $100,000 annually from Nike, was fined $5,000 for wearing the wrong color sneakers and billed the shoe company that amount, for not shipping his new shoes to him on time.

All those cigars must have caught up with him: Red Auerbach says that after acquiring center Vitaly Potapenko, who’s averaging nine points and six rebounds, to help Tony Battie, who’s averaging 6.4 points and 5.2 rebounds, the Celtics are only two players away. “We need a power forward, a guy who when that ball goes up, you’ve got this animal who’s going to get it,” Auerbach said. “And we need another big guard, someone 6-3 or 6-4 that can play defense and shoot a little bit. If we get those two, we’ll be very highly competitive because our center position is good now and I also like Battie. Battie plays hard and blocks shots. He’s a perfect backup. But if you get one more big guy, you’ll really be in good shape here.” Bill Russell?

After a week of complaining to reporters and showing the only real fire of any of the New York Knicks, Latrell Sprewell got embattled Jeff Van Gundy to put him back in the starting lineup. Quoth Van Gundy: “If I had my way, I would have him say, ‘The Knicks brought me here. They showed a lot of faith in me. I’ll do whatever they want me to do to help us win.’ That’s what I’d rather have him not just say but believe in his heart. But this is the NBA so I’m not necessarily sure that is going to happen or is realistic.”

The Orlando Magic’s Horace Grant, after missing a half-court shot with 10 seconds left in the first half, then making the winner in a 100-98 victory over the Nets: “At halftime, my teammates wanted me to take a drug test. Maybe I should start watching the clock a little bit closer.”

Behind those Michael Jordan reports: nothing. Charlotte Hornet owner George Shinn, trying to sort out financial and legal woes and keep his team, floated the possibility that Jordan would come in as 50% owner, possibly even play. Jordan might have been willing to consider an ownership stake--on his own terms. He’d lend them his name and pay no money for his 50%.

Former Celtic David Wesley, now a Hornet, on Pitino: “These are grown men. In college, you’re afraid of losing your scholarship and in a lot of cases you know your parents can’t pay for college without it. It’s different in the pros. As big an ego as Pitino has, he’s coaching players with bigger egos who make just as much money. They aren’t going to listen to that but so long.” . . . And Wesley on Anderson: “You want guys who fit the system. I don’t think anybody would recognize Kenny as a defensive player. That’s not a knock on him, that’s just the way it is. Putting Kenny in that system is like putting Joe Smith in the Eastern Conference. It doesn’t fit and that shows, the way Smith is thriving in Minnesota.”

The Milwaukee Bucks’ Glen Robinson, after beating the Timberwolves and former teammate Terrell Brandon: “He got what he wanted. He’s in the West. And you can quote me on that. And it’s a colder place.” . . . Keep thinking, Nellie, it’s what you’re good at: The Dallas Mavericks signed 7-3 Croatian Bruno Sundov to go with 7-0 Australian Chris Anstey and 6-11 German Dirk Nowitzki. “He’s several years away but we’re taking this opportunity to sign him now,” Don Nelson said. “He will basically just be in our development program. That’ll give us our summer program to work with him and training camp next year and then we’ll see.”

Greg Ostertag of the Utah Jazz, told that a quarter horse owner had named one after him: “What is he, big and slow?” . . . Danny Ainge, on trading jibes with Jack Nicholson as the Phoenix Suns upset the Lakers in what may be their last game in the Forum: “That’s as good as it gets.”