Topic A : From bar stools to board rooms, it’s--psssst!--the talk of the town : Political Indigestion

What do you think of when folks mention crooks, provincial hicks and statues of Bob’s Big Boy? These celebrities--mild, medium and hot--are talking presidential politics, of course.

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“I don’t feel I have any choice but to support Clinton. It’s a lesser of a variety of evils, given the whole Republican convention on ‘family values.’ Not everybody can live in an American nuclear family, with a father, a mother, two children and baseball games.”

--Tama Janowitz, novelist

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“Both of them are crooks, and I wouldn’t trust either one of them with a check or a penny.”

--Ice Cube, rap singer

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“I’m basically a Republican because of their platform. I don’t want the taxes to go up. It’s not a personal thing--I don’t mind paying more taxes--but I don’t want the federal government to get larger and I don’t want more federal involvement in social reforms. I have a feeling the Democrats are leading more into socialism than the Republicans.”

--Andy Williams, singer

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“Homer is undecided, and his feelings are a little hurt that President Bush singled out ‘The Simpsons.’ I’m voting for Clinton, but I’d vote for a statue of Bob’s Big Boy over Bush.”

--Matt Groening, cartoonist

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“I’ve been a Democrat up to now, but the last few elections the Democrats were all out in the ozone. I finally had to admit I’m a Republican. I did vote for Jimmy Carter, figuring a liberal from Georgia is not like a liberal from Massachusetts. Mr. Clinton’s plans would be economic disaster. You can’t entice business by threatening to tax them.”

--Gerald McRaney, star of “Major Dad”

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“I like Bill Clinton and his running mate, and this country desperately needs a change. . . . The image President Bush is working is so Moral Majority-esque, so embarrassingly backward and unethnic. It doesn’t apply to our country or to the rest of the world. We seem like provincial hicks.”

--Isaac Mizrahi, fashion designer

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“Women’s bodies belong to women and family values belong to families, not politicians. I hope both the candidates stay with the real issues, the ones they can and should change--the country’s economy, environment and health care system.”

--Jenny Jones, comic, talk show host

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“I’m very disappointed in the tenor of the election. It was terrifying when the Republican convention ended with an acceptance speech that sounded like an attack on democracy, hitting every freedom. Whatever else he is, I had thought Bush was a nice guy.”

--Frank Gehry, architect

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“I can’t say Clinton is my dream candidate, but I’m willing to take a risk. At the Democratic convention they were talking about issues I think are critical. The Republican convention made me want to puke.”

--Susan Feniger, chef-owner, City Restaurant, Border Grill

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“I’ll be voting for Clinton and the Democratic ticket, although I see no ‘New Deals’ or ‘Camelots’ in the works for the near future, no big ideas to save us this time around. Only through personal and individual efforts can we have any hope and effect a positive change in our society.”

--Robert Graham, artist