A FORUM FOR COMMUNITY ISSUES : Youth / OPINION : A Korean-born teen-ager raised by a Caucasian Southern California family comes to terms with who she is.

Every hour children are born into this world. Many families cannot handle this immense responsibility. Some babies are left to die, but the blessed children are taken to orphanages or foster homes and eventually adopted. That is how my story begins. I was born in Seoul, South Korea, Sept. 5, 1976. The day I was born, my biological mother sent me with the midwife to an orphanage. The orphanage immediately placed me in a loving foster home. This Korean family provided me with love and stability for 15 weeks, until I was old enough to fly overseas to my family in America. My new parents held me for the first time at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport.

Since I am of Korean heritage, but have been raised by a Caucasian family, and the majority of my friends are white, my images of Korea and Koreans are probably distorted. As I have matured I have had more of a desire to find out about my heritage. Questions often come to my mind such as: How do the people live their lives? Do they like pasta like I do? What are the trials teen-agers have to face?

While writing this, I came to the realization that every single thought or perception I have about the Korean people is not from a past research paper or history class, and it is definitely not from a first-hand experience, but from sources such as movies, radio, books, and newspapers; information that stretches the truth.

As a “banana,” yellow on the outside and white on the inside, I haven’t been confronted with much racial hostility. Since my lifestyle is so different from my heritage, it is hard to figure out who I really am, and I end up feeling like a “banana split.” Part of me wants to be a “banana shake,” blended into one.

There is war in Korea, so the people must feel hostility. There are marriages in Korea, so people must experience love, and there is hate when marriages are broken. My society is ignorant of the different beliefs and customs in Korea.

I always think of Koreans as brilliant people who are willing to work hard. Growing up in a casual American home, I feel I fall short in these areas. The sound of the Korean language and the artistic patterns of their writing indicate to me their appreciation for beauty. Someone once told me that I hadn’t lost all of my “Korean-ness” because I am open and my hospitality is warm. Are Koreans known for these qualities?

In America, Orientals tend to be clumped into one big category, which angers some ethnic groups. On television, Orientals are often shown to be smart business persons, concerned with only making money. Society assumes that many of us cannot speak English and that all of us must receive top grades at school!

My ideas about the land of Korea are quite stereotypical. In my mind, all the roof corners turn upward and the air is misty. Rice fields surround marshes of water and lush hills. Everybody walks around in colorful pointed rubber shoes. (This image evolved from the only possession I brought to America, rubber shoes, that now sit on the living room shelf.) People sit and drink tea or ride bicycles all day, and of course nobody is over 5 feet tall or has hair lighter than a wet teabag.

I have rarely experienced racism. I have been sheltered. However, during the Los Angeles riots, many Korean shops were burned. For the first time, I began to realize the animosity that some African-Americans and Korean-Americans feel toward each other. This surprised and saddened me. Many Americans formed negative opinions about people of different ethnic backgrounds during the riots. A person’s negative image of others is hard to change and usually sticks like glue for life. Ignorance creates racial tensions.