Canseco Plays Left Like Lou

During a game between the New York Yankees and Oakland A’s last week, Yankee pitcher Tommy John was standing next to Manager Lou Piniella in the dugout. According to Ron Bergman of the Oakland Tribune, this exchange took place:

Piniella: “How can Jose Canseco catch a ball out there in left field standing like that?”

John: “Heck, I used to have a left fielder standing out there taking practice swings, and he caught the ball.”

The left fielder was Lou Piniella.

Times alumnus Ed Gilbert, adding to the list of malapropisms by announcers, submits a classic by Bill Stern.

As an Army player was being carried off the field, Stern said: “For his family and friends, he was not hurt, only injured, and is being helped to the sidelines under his own power.”

Brian Bosworth reportedly has turned off more than one NFL club with all his posturing, but Denver Bronco assistant coach Myrel Moore says: “He’s no worse than Ted Hendricks when I coached with the Raiders.”

Said New York Met Manager Davey Johnson after the club had lifted its record to 22-22 at San Francisco: “You can’t win a pennant unless you go above .500.”

Not necessarily so. When baseball went to four divisions in 1969, it became possible for an entire division to finish under .500. The National League East came close in 1973 when the Mets won the division title with an 82-79 record. The Mets then beat Cincinnati in the Championship Series.

Trivia Time: Who is the only player to have hit home runs in all four divisions in one season? (Answer in column two.)

If Martina Navratilova fails to win the French Open, at least she won’t be lonely.

Reports UPI: “Team Navratilova is out in force in Paris--with animals and people even at six each.

“Navratilova took advantage of France’s loose laws on importing animals to fly in her favorite dog, KD (Killer Dog), four new dogs and a cat.

“She also has her parents and her training partner in for the tournament, while her business manager and her companion, Judy Nelson, were expected in later this week.”

With pitchers looking for more ways to trick batters, have we seen the end of the true fireballers--men such as Walter Johnson, Sandy Koufax and Nolan Ryan? Coach Roy White of the New York Yankees thinks so.

He told Thomas Boswell of the Washington Post: “Nobody throws hard anymore. One reason Roger Clemens dominated the league last year is that a fastball in the mid-90s seems unhittable when so few guys even throw in the low-90s.

“When I came up, Detroit had (Denny) McLain, (Mickey) Lolich and Earl Wilson. Cleveland came at you with Sam McDowell, Sonny Siebert, Stan Williams and Luis Tiant. Every series it was Dean Chance, Jim Lonborg, Jim Palmer, Andy Messersmith, Vida Blue. Everybody blew smoke. You didn’t even mention a guy like Siebert. Now, he’d be a monster.”

Trivia Answer: Dave Kingman. In 1977, he hit homers for the New York Mets, San Diego Padres, Angels and New York Yankees.

Quotebook

Boston pitcher Joe Sambito, on what it takes to sit in the bleachers at Fenway Park: “First, you have to flunk an IQ test. Second, you have to be able to drink a gallon of beer. If you can drink more than a gallon, they give you a seat in the front row behind the Boston bullpen.”