R. Kelly still trapped in closet; Adam Lambert released from jail
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Two singers and tabloid favorites are making news in the field of involuntary confinement.
The R&B lothario R. Kelly, fresh off announcing his exquisitely titled memoir, ‘Soula Coaster,’ and a concert cruise in October (woe that David Foster Wallace isn’t around to write about that one), has decided to revisit his ongoing serialized pop-opera ‘Trapped in the Closet.’ Kelly told TMZ he’s written 32 new chapters in the Byzantine murder-adultery-utter-insanity saga, but is looking for investors before production, because ‘it costs a lot of money to do.’ This is clear evidence of a crisis in public arts funding in America.
Meanwhile, an ocean away but in no less dramatic fashion, ‘American Idol’ favorite Adam Lambert was briefly detained in a Finnish jail after a brawl with his boyfriend Sauli Koskinen (a star of Finland’s version of ‘Big Brother’) spilled out of a Helsinki bar and into a crowd of bystanders. Both were detained, questioned and released, and neither suffered notable injury, though a mutual friend and former Miss Helsinki, Sofia Ruusila, was reportedly accidentally struck trying to separate them. Lambert explained it thusly on Twitter: ‘Jetlag+Vodka=blackout. Us÷blackout=irrational confusion. jail+guilt+press=lesson learned. Sauli+Adam+hangover burgers= laughing bout it.’
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-- August Brown
