Fried fare at the O.C. Fair

Chicken Charlie’s oeuvre now includes deep-fried Spam with pineapple rings and a side of sweet, vaguely Asian dipping sauce. If you skip the bland sauce and ignore how trashy it is to eat deep-fried Spam, you’ll realize you’re basically just eating square corn dogs without the sticks.

Rating: 9  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

Underneath that golden brown crust is a deep-fried White Castle hamburger, but it’s hard to imagine Harold and Kumar going to great lengths to get their hands on this. It tastes worse than typical junior high cafeteria fare.

Rating: 3  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

A cross-section view of a deep-fried White Castle hamburger. Someday, scientists will study the fossilized striations to understand where our society went horribly wrong.  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

Thankfully, even vegans have a chance to clog their arteries at the county fair with these large stalks of zucchini, which remained firm and juicy under the withering heat of deep-frying. Hot sauce and ranch dressing, optional.

Rating: 8  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

If you love batter and fry grease as much as you love avocado, it’s tempting to try deep-fried avocados. Too bad the whole doesn’t come close to equaling the sum of its parts. The frying sucks most of the flavor from the already-subtle avocado. Even the vinaigrette dipping sauce can’t save this mushy, greasy mess.

Rating: 3  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

In addition to the fact that they look like tiny, headless humans and the meat is streaked with black gristle, frog legs have a bizarre taste that’s halfway between chicken and fish. The texture and mouth-feel is all fowl, but the flavor is fish. No amount of deep-frying, ketchup or hot sauce can save them.

Rating: 1  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

Behold the Cowabunga Corn Dog, 12 inches and 2 pounds of breaded, deep-fried pressed meat. It’s certainly the best deal at the fair. For $10 you could feed a family of four with one of these puppies. But unless you’re sharing this with several friends, family members or your favorite football team, it’s still not as good as Hot Dog on A Stick, where the corn dogs come out of the deep fryer fresh and piping hot.

Rating: 6  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

Jeanne’s Artichokes, purveyor of deep-fried artichoke hearts, mushrooms and zucchini.  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

Deep-fried artichoke hearts. Inoffensive but unspectacular. Ranch dressing covers a multitude of sins.

Rating: 5  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

Long known for its beer, barbecue and breeds of herding dogs, the Land Down Under earns a new distinction at the Orange County Fair.  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

Australian battered potatoes with cheese sauce -- and by “cheese” we mean that delicious orange goo found on nachos at high school football games. These things are evil. Pure evil. Starch, battered in more starch, deep fried and covered in preservative-laden cheese product. And yet, so delicious.

Rating: 7.

(Bonus: most of the cashiers and clerks speak with Australian accents!)  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

Deep-fried Snickers: It delivers what it promises.  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

The corn dogs of the dessert world: deep-fried Snickers and Resse’s Whips candy bars. Both hold up well to the frying, transforming into a warm, chewy goo. The Snickers, with its heavy, peanut-packed filling, is the classic, but almost too dense, while the fluffy, peanut butter-flavored Reese’s Whips remains light and airy.

Snickers Rating: 7
Reese’s Whips: 8  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

The Spud Shack offers several improbable deep-fried sweets.  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

As if a Tootsie roll doesn’t taste awful enough on its own, someone decided to batter and deep-fry this sad excuse for a candy. The Spud Shack’s not fooling anyone by calling it a “chocolate dog on a stick.” There’s nothing chocolate-y about this hunk of rubbery, greasy goo.

Rating: 1  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

A new addition to the fair, the deep-fried cupcake epitomizes of progress gone awry. It’s not battered, so the already flavorless dough (it’s brown, but that doesn’t mean it tastes like chocolate) acts and tastes like greasy sponge. No amount of chocolate sauce drizzled on top can remedy that.

Rating: 2  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

Underneath all that sugar and batter are four Oreo cookies. The cookie loses some of its crispness, but the creamy filling turns all warm and gooey. Overall, the Oreo holds up surprisingly well to the deep-fry treatment.

Rating: 6  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

Oh, the glory of it all! A deep-fried Twinkie topped with strawberry sauce improves the always stale-tasting standard Twinkie by transforming the light cream filling into molten magic.

Rating: 6  (Rob Takata / For The Times)

Lightly breaded, fried, topped with cinnamon and sugar and served with whipped cream, these delightful apple fries made with crisp, tart Granny Smiths strike the perfect balance of sweet and sour.

Rating: 10  (Rob Takata / For The Times)