Preseason expectations low for UCLA football team

Three seasons into the Rick Neuheisel era, expectations for UCLA might be lower than ever this fall. …

A Sporting News ranking of all 120 major college teams slots the Bruins at No. 84, ahead of only woebegone Washington State among their Pacific 12 Conference brethren. …

Of course, as offensive lineman Mark Asper of fifth-ranked Oregon notes, “Preseason rankings are like dialogue on ‘Baywatch’ — you need them to keep the show going, but they don’t mean anything to anyone except nerds.� …

USC is ranked 25th. …

LSU is No. 1. …

Wake us when the lockouts end. …

“California has given Boston Ted Williams, Bobby Doerr, Bill Russell, K.C. Jones, Bill Sharman, Dennis Johnson, Paul Pierce, Fred Lynn, Nomar Garciaparra and Tom Brady,� veteran sportswriter Joe Jares notes. “And what has Boston sent to the Golden State? Frank McCourt and Whitey Bulger.� …

Howie Kendrick and the Angels might have a losing record at home and within their division, but they’re dominant in interleague play and nipping at the Texas Rangers’ heels. …

Left-hander Jeremy Affeldt of the San Francisco Giants, via Twitter: “If Superman is so smart, why does he wear his underpants on top of his pants?� …

Ron Artest, in a radio interview, explained that he’s changing his name to Metta WorldPeace, not Metta World Peace. …

Thanks for clarifying. …

Ex-NBA guard World B. Free was born Lloyd Bernard Free. …

New Lakers assistant John Kuester faced a Palace revolt as coach of the Detroit Pistons last season, Tracy McGrady and several teammates skipping a morning shoot-around in February as an organized protest of their coach. …

That night, when Kuester was ejected from a game at Philadelphia, McGrady was shown laughing on the bench. …

“When Oklahoma City drafted Reggie Jackson,� reader George Sands of Torrance wonders, “did it realize that with a lockout there probably won’t be any games played in October?� …

WBA champion David Haye might be cruisin’ for a brusin’ when he says of his heavyweight bout Saturday against IBF and WBO champ Wladimir Klitschko: “You are going to see the most brutal execution of a boxer. I will absolutely destroy him.� …

Klitschko has knocked out a higher percentage of his opponents than any other heavyweight in boxing history. …

Reid Cherner of USA Today, on Tiger Woods’ scruffy new look: “Personally, we’d like to see him go full ZZ Top — long beards and all — but maybe that would affect the backswing.� …

With Venus Williams in her early 30s and Serena Williams getting there soon, a revitalized Maria Sharapova brings much-needed star power to women’s tennis. …

Regarding speculation that Matt Leinart might be headed to the Seattle Seahawks to reunite with Pete Carroll, Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald writes, “That means the weather will be only the second-most depressing thing about Seattle.� …

Carl Hubbell and Fernando Valenzuela may have struck out five consecutive batters in an All-Star game, reader Glenn M. Langdon of Garden Grove notes, but Hubbell’s victims were all future Hall of Famers: Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Jimmie Foxx, Al Simmons and Joe Cronin. …

Valenzuela’s were Don Mattingly, Cal Ripken Jr., Jesse Barfield, Lou Whitaker and a pitcher, Teddy Higuera. …

What’s more, Higuera’s at-bat against Valenzuela was the only plate appearance of his major league career. …

Of an Internet photo showing LeBron James backstage with Bono at a concert in Florida, Greg Cote of the Miami Herald writes, “Clearly the U2 song dedicated to LBJ should be, ‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.’ � …

Or, in deference to Dwyane Wade, “I Will Follow.� …

Chris Bosh’s four-day bachelor party, reportedly attended by none of his teammates, was nicknamed “The Hangover 3.� …

Prince William of Wales, with new bride Kate in tow to present a trophy to the winner, will play in a benefit polo match July 9 at the Santa Barbara Polo & Racquet Club. …

Reserved seats: $4,000 apiece.

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