Column: The Crowd: Celebrating the gift of life this Christmas

This is the season of giving.

In my case I have been given a rather remarkable gift. My gift is a gift of life.

On Nov. 17 at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, surgeon Irene Kim performed a life-saving kidney transplant on me.

On the table in the operating room next to me lay my kidney donor, Heidi Miller, a Laguna Beach resident and businesswoman who runs specialty ladies boutique Tight Assets on Pacific Coast Highway.

Many of you know Heidi as the woman who created major yogurt chain Heidi’s Frogen Yozurt.

She has been an active force in the community supporting many causes including the CHOC Follies, American Heart Assn. and Laguna Playhouse, among others.

Heidi is not a relative. She is not a close friend of many years. What she is is an angel, a saint, a true, altruistic human being who heard of a need and stepped up to give the ultimate gift.

Make no mistake, her action is rare. Extremely rare. In any given year in the U.S., some 120,000 people wait for organ donation, most needing a kidney, and the percentage who receive an organ from a living donor is minute. A proverbial handful. Thousands die waiting.

Heidi told me: “Some people get a piano for Christmas, but you are getting an organ!” Her sense of humor complements her strong spirit and “take-no-prisoners” attitude. She was all-in for me from the moment she made the first call to inquire.

Here’s how it all happened. In May a dear lady named Carole Pickup insisted I spread the word about needing a kidney. Carole had actually been reminding me of this for almost two years and I had been resisting. Who is going to give me a body part? How can I ask for such a thing?

Finally, in May, with Carole’s generous support, we threw a big event in the Balboa Bay Resort ballroom. Some 500 people came for what ended up being a major love-in and organ transplant awareness experience.

Heidi was not there, although she had planned to come. Instead, Heidi’s friend Carol Lee was there and she shared the experience with Heidi. That was all it took. By August, I had a donor. We were a perfect match. And by November I was given the gift of life.

As I write this holiday message, I am recovering and plan on being back full speed ahead by year-end. Heidi is recovering nicely as well.

I have a Christmas-Hanukkah request. Heidi owns a woman’s boutique in Laguna Beach that I mentioned called Tight Assets. She is the sole proprietor of her business and has taken considerable time off to help me.

My holiday wish is for all of you kind people who are so inclined to please visit Tight Assets and do some holiday shopping. It would mean a great deal to me. A small gesture of payback.

Clearly, I will never be able to thank Heidi enough. The same goes for Carole Pickup, Carol Lee and all the amazing medical professionals including the doctors, nurses, attendants, counselors, dieticians, lab techs, dialysis techs, transplant advisors, social workers and financial advisors involved in this miracle process.

In the community, there are many kind people who have given me so much love and support over the past seven years of dealing with the effects of kidney failure and life-saving dialysis. I am obligated to name them all, but I fear the column would take up two pages. I must call out some, forgive me if I have not listed many.

In my life I have never experienced such heartfelt kindness from a community.

These special citizens include Dr. Anthony Caffarelli, Dr. Eric Wechsler, Dr. Kanbiz Vahabsadeh, Jean Wegener, Kim Frazier, Maralou and Jerry Harrington, Chuck Van Cleve, Debra Gunn Downing, Charles Kantor, Pam Selber, Lee Healy, Madeline and Len Zuckerman, Patti and Jim Edwards, Julia and George Argyros, Adrienne and RJ Brandes, Lynn Selich, Ann and Rick Chatillon, Sharon and Gary Grimes, Patty and Billy O’Desky, Laurie Veitch, Anne and John Wortmann, Aaron Trent, Melanie Hertrick, Leticia Rice, Laura Bryan, Devon and Kevin Martin, Todd and Natalie Pickup, Dick and Donna Pickup, Elizabeth Segerstrom and Carole Pickup whose help created an avenue for the donor Heidi Miller to come forward.

Without question, someone going through this renal failure cannot survive without the support of family and loved ones. To my wife, Cathie, my children Alexandra, Jeffrey, Ryan, Sabrina and Alex, my in-laws Jack and Gerrie, and extended family — you have had my back and best intent beyond all limits.

There are more. My heart goes out to Dr. Richard Haskell, Dr. Daniel Nadeau, Dr. Christopher Lee, Dr. Paul Ozuzun, Stephen and Nancy Silver, Kristi Wechsler, Dr. Harvey and Bette Pollard, Kurt and Wendy Lyon, Kathy and Jerry Thompson, Joan and Wally Gaynor, Jan Landstrom, Ernie di Massa, Sally and Randy Crockett, Tom Johnson, Lana Johnson, Eve and Mike Ruffatto, Marilyn and Dave Wooten, Beverly Ray Parkhurst, Alison and Kimo McCormick, Marion Pickens, Sharon and Jamie McKinnon, Joyce Bullifant and Roger Perry, Chelsea Edmonston, Michelle Mullen, Donna Bunce, Gloria Zigner and Rev. John Huffman. I think I had better quit.

I know I’ve missed many. My plan — dream — is to pay this support forward.

Doing research, I learned that there is no central foundation dedicated to assisting organ donors needing financial support when giving to a recipient. Federal law strictly forbids the recipient from paying for organ donation in any form, directly or indirectly. There are many solid reasons for this, although differing opinions do exist on the practicality and purpose of funding organ donations.

The bottom line is that donors incur costs. Many must take time off work. Those who are self-employed have no paid leave. There is transportation and other living expenses, care taking may be necessary. I also learned that once a donor gives an organ they often lose their health insurance and life insurance and must look for an alternative source, which may be costlier.

My donor Heidi Miller was faced with all of these expenses. Consider how many other amazing people might consider giving the gift of life if they could afford to do so, if they would not jeopardize their income, fail to make rent, or worse.

There are countless foundations and agencies devoted to all sorts of aspects pertaining to organ transplant information and support, but not financial assistance to qualified donors. I want to change that.

In the new year, my goal will be to set up an agency that will do just that, headquartered here in O.C. but reaching out across the nation. I will need seed money. I will need a board. I will need a fundraising arm. My goal is to raise $5 million over five years to create an endowment, with the hope to begin paying forward assistance to donors by early 2019.

Yes, it is very ambitious. I hope I am up to it. I owe so much to Heidi and all who have brought me through this to a positive end.

If there is such a thing as being born again, my second birthday is this holiday. I am one of the lucky ones. I have been blessed by human angels. I hope I am deserving of this gift.

B.W. COOK is editor of the Bay Window, the official publication of the Balboa Bay Club in Newport Beach.