CINDY, INCIDENTALLY:

A year ago, a friend of gave me the book “Eat, Pray, Love,” by travel writer Elizabeth Gilbert.

The memoir wove the tale of Gilbert’s spiritual journey as a 30-something woman who left her marriage and everything else she “thought” she wanted out of life: the house in the ’burbs, good job, the successful husband and dinner parties with friends on the weekend.

Gilbert walked away from the life she knew and no longer wanted and spent a year eating, praying and loving in Italy, India and Bali.

She came away with a bestselling book, a new sense of self, spirituality and a legion of millions of women who were inspired by the book’s message of celebrating oneself.

I recently watched Gilbert talk about her experience with Oprah — who loves the book, by the way — and was surprised to discover the amount of backlash by critics who think Gilbert is a whiny, self-absorbed woman who disguised her mid-life crisis as a well-written and charming story that now reads like a romantic comedy.

I found one male writer who went so far as to ask in a column on www.worldhum.com, that if this same book were written by a man, “Do you think American women would embrace this book and turn it into a bestseller? Or do you think American women would react with hostility at such a self-absorbed, culturally oblivious and vaguely sexist narrative? No doubt it would be the latter reaction — and I would be reduced to dodging rotten fruit at book readings.”

Tsk, tsk. I love when men get all uppity on topics like this.

You know, this is exactly what happened when the book and movie “Bridges of Madison County” came out and women flocked to the theaters to cry about one woman’s extra marital affair.

People were outraged that a woman cheating on her husband was considered a romance movie, where “Fatal Attraction” is what the men got.

Yes, it’s not that fair, but come on now. Let’s not even got started on the lack of fairness between the genders.

I don’t think Gilbert was actually condoning that all women should leave their stable lives to instead eat, pray and love their way to a new existence.

I also don’t think that she was whining and droning on and on — it’s a memoir, people. It’s her life story: If you don’t want to read it, put it down and go pick up a mystery novel.

When I read the book, I didn’t take it as a self-help book for my life. I read it as a travel memoir.

I know most of my friends didn’t begin to take out their passports and consider ditching their lives for some gelato in Milan.

That’s just silly.

For me, Gilbert’s travel book was about the solace that travel can bring.

Often, during a time of emotional crisis or a need for a soulful reboot, travel is one of the best ways to get some space, perspective, spiritual balance and adventure. It can renew you and remind you that life goes on and so can you.

A lot of women — and men — I know have taken impromptu vacations after a painful relationship breakup or a massive life change, such as a death of a loved one or the loss of a job.

A friend of mine just booked a trip to New Zealand that she is calling “Breakup Trip 2008.” Four months ago another friend went to France. My older sister just went for it and sold all her belongings and moved to Spain for more than a year. My other sister handed her credit card to a travel agent and left for Europe for one month, and another friend of mine recently quit her job and traveled the United States for almost six months.

Personally, I have also sought spiritual enlightenment by taking off by myself to a foreign country and am actually in the process of dusting my passport off right now to plan another big trip this spring.

Now, I don’t know whether this makes us all whiny and self absorbed. I guess it’s possible, but, I don’t think so.

And guess what?

Neither does Oprah, so there.

CINDY ARORA is a freelance writer. She may be reached at [email protected].