CHASING DOWN THE MUSE:Changing spaces in the circle of life

“Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.� -- Richard Hooker

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.... Lily needs a home. Daughter Jenna is looking too. Catherine and her husband Robert are scouring the countryside around Sonoma. Linda and Mike seek something near Paso Robles. Jim and Judy are moving to Rancho Santa Fe. Tom and Susan have found a place in Oceanside.

My mother needs more care and soon may need to move in order to get it. Friends Frank and Pat have found themselves a cabin in Fawnskin. My in-laws will soon move from Encinitas to Los Angeles. Our Brooklyn daughter and her family ponder a move.

In fact, it seems my recent return from Brooklyn has heralded myriad changes and new home searches for those whose lives touch mine.

Change is evidently in the air. Still, once decided upon, these changes are tough, even when, as Mr. Hooker says, they are for the better.

The challenges are plenty and often require some sort of strategy to help them along. “Bird by bird� as Anne Lamott says in her book by the same name, works best for me.

For years the family has used broad hints, persuasion, promises of reward and other various means to attempt to get my husband’s parents to make a change, to move to smaller living quarters.

It was thought by many of us that they would enjoy living with other seniors in a setting that would require less upkeep. Our pleas fell on deaf ears until recently, when my father-in-law’s rapidly advancing Alzheimer’s disease made the choice for change an imperative.

The change — a move to an apartment near my sister-in-law — is likely the first step in a process. Still, it is what mother-in-law Genevieve could accept with alacrity and ease.

I am reminded of the concept of “chunking� when I watch as she sorts through what is to go, what is to keep.

Chunking is just what it sounds like — simply taking what seems too big to even consider and breaking it down into smaller chunks that seem more possible to accomplish.

I wonder if the accumulation of years wasn’t just part of the whelm of it all that kept her mired in place.

Now Gen has been given small tasks and, as she attacks projects in small increments, it perhaps seems less overwhelming to her. It seems so from where I watch. Bit by bit. Bird by bird. Manageable steps until it is all done.

I’m sure that when the actual move comes in June they will be ready. There will be sadness at moving from the familiar, but they have seen their apartment unit and are now looking forward with some excitement — and very little of the previously seen dread — to the change and what it may bring to their lives.

And soon Jenna will find a place, we will visit our friends and family in their changed circumstances, and changes will take place in our own lives as well.

If major transitions show up, I’ll try to remember not to face them with any dread and just do it bit by bit in those more controllable chunks.

And Lily? Lily is all about change. This playful, affectionate cat was rescued by my friend Lynn when Lily and her owner lost their Central Coast home.

Now there is a network of friends who are bit by bit trying to find a new home for Lily since Lynn cannot keep her. Attitude seems to be everything so I’m sure this will work out fine for all.

If anyone knows of a good home for Lily, please e-mail or call me.