ON THE TOWN:Don’t lose your point of view

Enough people have reacted publicly and privately to a couple of recent topics that I am going to go with the flow.

The two topics are bad service, revived a few weeks ago by Daily Pilot publisher Tom Johnson, and our general unwillingness to speak out when we witness inappropriate behavior.

Last Saturday night, my wife and I had the pleasure of seeing Paul Simon perform at the Pacific Amphitheater.

Unfortunately, four people located two rows in front of us decided that the space in front of their seats was suitable as a dance floor and they started to spend most of their time standing or dancing.

They spent so much time on their feet that the baby boomers around them, the ones who danced in the aisles 30 years ago, couldn’t see their musical hero.

I put up with the dancers for a few songs, lasting that long because the amphitheaters has two large screens that showed Simon and his band up close and personal.

Then I’d had it. I leaned over to my wife and said: “Would it bother you if I asked them to sit down?”

“Yes,” she said.

Now before I tell you what happened after I asked the dancers to sit down, it is important to understand that I was not asking my wife for permission. I was just gauging the amount of trouble I was going to be in after the asking was done.

A few minutes later, in between songs, I said in a loud voice: “Please sit down, I can’t see the show. Thank you.”

Two people sat down immediately, not apologizing but looking just a tad embarrassed that they had exhibited some behavior that caused someone to chastise them in public. A few seconds later, a third person sat down after looking about the entire amphitheater and seeing that he and his friend were the only two people in the joint who were on their feet.

The fourth and last person, however, was in her own world. Not only did she not acknowledge my request with an icy stare, she just stood there in what seemed from behind to be a fog, swaying even when there was no music.

The problem for me was that she was exactly, perfectly in the spot that blocked Simon from my view. You could not have lined her up more correctly if we were duck.

I said again: “Please sit down, I can’t see the show. Thank you.”

Then, a miracle happened: She sat down.

The moment she did, a round of applause broke out from fellow concertgoers.

The applause told me a couple of things.

First, it was not just me whom the dancers were bothering. Their applause was validation that I had done the right thing.

Second, once again, a group of people was perfectly willing to suffer in silence while a few people did something wrong.

The people blocked by the dancer’s view were content to just sit there and say nothing, even though it irritated them so much that they clapped when the situation was resolved.

I do not understand that silence and I never will.

From the dancers we move to bad customer service, which we all get from time to time.

If we are getting more bad service, it is due in part because we don’t say anything when we get it.

In other words, if a service person does not know that he or she is behaving badly (because we have not told that person or that person’s boss), they will continue to do what they have always done.

It is very important that we speak up when we see something wrong.

“Wrong” can be a relative term. In other words, what may seem wrong to one person may be perfectly acceptable to another. That’s OK. What’s not OK is remaining silent while you stew about the behavior.

What’s not OK is being afraid of speaking out because you are too embarrassed; because you are afraid that speaking up will put the spotlight on you.

But what you do by not speaking up is condone unacceptable, inappropriate behavior. And that just perpetuates the whole pattern.

There are certain situations in which it is not appropriate to speak up. If I am cut off on the street or freeway, for example, I let it go because confronting someone with bad judgment who also has a deadly weapon, in this case a car, is not a good idea.

If after reading this you are still skittish about speaking up, consider this: Over the years I have called people on their bad behavior, which usually involves the overt use of profanity in public places, I have never once been rebuked or told in any way that I was out of line.

That tells me that we all need, and are constantly looking for, people to tell us where the boundaries are.

So talk it up. You will make the world a better place.