‘Tis the season to drop those pounds
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” I recently went on a diet for a month and lost 30 days.” --Unknown
“Some people diet religiously. They eat whatever they want and pray they don’t gain weight”. --Unknown
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you will have lost at least five pounds.” When the blonde returns, she has lost nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “ Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” The doctor is confused. “From hunger, you mean?” “No, from skipping.” (Our apologies to blondes.)
The other day, we walked into a bookstore and were confronted with a huge pile of diet books covering a large table. ‘Tis the season to lose poundage. The scope and variety of these books is staggering.
You can choose to lose weight based on the amount of time you want to diet. The following numbers are actual figures on the book covers on that table: three hours, 24 hours, three days, five days, six days, 40 days, five weeks, and 10 weeks, among many others.
You can find diet plans that are based on the consumption of a particular food, including peanut butter, chocolate, beer, rice and vinegar. And don’t forget the “place diets”: Beverly Hills, South Beach, Cambridge, West Point, Sonoma, Miami, the Mediterranean and, our personal favorite, the Hamptons (subtitled “Diet Secrets of the Rich, Famous and Thin”). If this last one appeals to you, check out “The Karl Lagerfeld Diet” and “How the Rich Get Thin.”
There are the diets based on acid-alkaline balance (the “pH Miracle,” for example), blood type and body type.
Other diets focus on spiritual or New Age approaches: “Daily Word for Weight Loss,” inspirational thoughts to give you courage on your journey; “The Astrological Diet Book;” “The Yoga Mini-Book -- Relax Your Way To Thin;” or “The 30 Day Subliminal Diet -- Lose Fat While Your Unconscious Mind Does the Work.”
Diet recommendations come from a number of interesting sources: “The Sensuous Belly Dancer’s Diet,” “The Cheater’s Diet,” and, believe it or not, “The Serial Killer’s Diet Book.” We are puzzled by titles such as “French Women Don’t Get Fat” and “Japanese Women Don’t Get Old or Fat.” What are your chances of success if you are not French or Japanese? Our No.1 favorite for the New Year has to be “The Dieter’s Guide to Weight Loss Before, During and After Sex,” which includes calories burned during various sex acts.
Do any of these diets actually work? The experts say most diets don’t. People eventually regain the weight they’ve lost, unless they make serious lifestyle changes, including a regular exercise program. Statistically, Weight Watchers is the most successful because it is based on permanently changing the way you eat, losing pounds slowly and attending support meetings.
If you have watched “The Biggest Loser” on TV, you may have been surprised to see how the dieters’ friends and family often have a hard time being supportive. You must have heard one of these: “Just try one little piece -- it’s so good.” “One beer won’t hurt you.” “It’s a special occasion.”
Today you finally got on the scale -- you haven’t weighed yourself since the day before Thanksgiving -- and were amazed to discover that, even though those three pieces of pumpkin pie were made with light cream and the seven chocolate chip-pecan Christmas cookies were low-carb and the cheese in the 10 bacon-wrapped cheese puffs was low-fat, somehow you’ve put on a few pounds.
So you make that ever-popular New Year’s resolution. We realize you may not have time to read all of the books noted above, attend those meetings or afford the home-delivery Zone Diet, but help is nearby.
Our local Trader Joe’s has a variety of products that will assist you in making dinners that are very easy and low in calories yet don’t make you feel that you are depriving yourself of one of life’s greatest pleasures. First of all, the view while driving along the coast to Trader Joe’s is almost always gorgeous, Crystal Cove Shopping Center is as attractive as a shopping center can be, and TJ’s has an abundant array of healthy products.
Two of our favorite low-calorie products are Trader José’s Salsa Verde, which has 20 calories and two grams of carbohydrates in 1/4 cup, and Trader Joe’s Moroccan Tajine Simmer Sauce, which has 35 calories and five grams of carbohydrates in 1/4 cup. Both are quite versatile and can be used with chicken, fish, meat or vegetables. All ingredients in these recipes are available in the store.
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