Celebrating a life, without tears

No tears.

That was the instruction given to the luncheon guests handpicked by a beaming K Turner to celebrate her life Saturday at the Hotel Laguna.

For the most part, the dictum was obeyed -- a testimonial to the strength of mind that defines Turner, and not just in her battle against Lou Gehrig’s disease.

Diane Borcyckowski told luncheon guests not to bow their heads for the invocation.

“Lift your head,” she said. “We are here in celebration.”

The guest list brought together people whose lives Turner touched and made better, crossing professional, personal and philosophical boundaries.

“I want all my friends from my whole life to be together in one room,” Turner said when the idea for the luncheon was broached.

Though she always couches it politely, Turner never has a problem making her wishes known -- and it started early. Her younger brothers all described her as their bossy older sister. She called them her minions and said she could get them to do anything.

“She most reminds me of Theodore Roosevelt,” board of education chair Bob Whalen said. “She speaks softly but carries a big stick. In an era where politicians talk much and accomplish little, she is refreshing. But when she does talk, you better listen.”

Whalen was one of six speakers whose recollections were woven into the slide show prepared by the Assistant Supt. Darren Reed and narrated by Thurston Middle School principal Joanne Culverhouse with wit, charm and a lid on her own heartfelt emotions.

Roxana Ward performed a musical accompaniment to the slide show -- which starred Turner.

The slides began with pictures of baby K, born on a farm in a raging snow storm. She grew up healthy, strong and an avid reader who savored the English language.

Her tradition-minded mother believed that only men needed an education, but she did agree that Turner could be a nurse or a teacher. Turner joined the Women’s Army Corp after graduating from high school.

One can only imagine the family’s reaction when Turner discovered her sexual orientation during her time in the military, Culverhouse said.

While stationed in Texas, Turner heard about Long Beach, where she eventually went to school to get her associate’s degree. She earned a bachelor’s degree at UCLA and a master’s in nursing at Columbia.

Speaker Peggy Jayne met Turner in the 1950s.

“We went in different directions, but I am so glad I met you,” Jayne said.

Turner added a law degree to her portfolio of credentials in 1982 -- the same year she was seriously injured in a head-on traffic collision on Laguna Canyon Road in which the driver of the other car died.

“She said it changed her life,” Culverhouse said.

After her convalescence, Turner began visiting churches and finally found what she sought in the United Church of Religious Science, which she joined.

“K can’t simply show up without taking a leadership role,” said church colleague Rodney Scott.

Eventually, the church licensed her as a practitioner, and she became director of education.

Turner spoke of her spiritual journey last year at a meeting sponsored by the Laguna Beach Woman’s Club, members of which coordinated the luncheon Saturday.

“I am pleased we could help out,” club president Peggy Ford said of the efforts of club members Anne Johnson and Lee Winocur-Field, both educators who have long admired Turner.

Margie Lewis met Tuner in 1968 when both were new teachers at Long Beach State, where Turner spent 30 years on the faculty and in administration, retiring as the dean of the School of Health and Science.

Lewis remembered Turner in those academic years as always thoughtful and thought-provoking.

“But she wasn’t always perfect,” Lewis said.

Lewis recalled sitting with Turner in the audience at a board meeting that did not exactly grab Turner’s attention.

“She was going through some papers and lost focus,” Lewis said. “When the board president called for a vote, K voted aye -- she was not on that board.”

Lewis and Turner also shared participation in WON, a group of women who spend time in nature -- taking trips to the mountains in which they let down their hair, didn’t make up their faces and gave each other nicknames.

Turner, who would have been perfectly cast in a movie as the statuesque, perfectly groomed, well-bred, intellectual dean of an East Coast Women’s college, was called -- can you believe? -- “Bubbles.”

“It went well with Bivens’ nickname, ‘Splash,’” Lewis said.

Bivens Hunt is Turner’s longtime domestic partner.

They committed to one another in a celebration in 1992 at Bob Gentry’s Laguna Beach home. Gentry was the first openly gay elected official in Orange County. He and Dennis Amick (a name he later legally changed to Gentry) were the first gay couple to register under Laguna’s pioneering domestic partner ordinance. Hunt and Turner were the second, recorded by then-City Clerk Verna Rollinger.

Turner ran openly as a lesbian for the school board in 1994 and won handily.

“I met K at a party when I moved to Laguna nine years ago,” Shary Seltzer said. “Coming from Greenwich, Conn., where being a lesbian was never mentioned, let alone elected to the school board, I knew Laguna was the place for me.”

The luncheon guest list included past and present board members Whalen, Eileen Walsh, Betsy Jenkins, Steve Rabago, Susan Maas, El Hathaway and immediate past chair Jan Vickers, who spoke about Turner’s contributions to the children of Laguna Beach.

“Her first term was a baptism of fire,” Vickers said.

Turner had barely taken her seat on the board when Orange County declared bankruptcy. With all its money in the county investment pool by law, the district was hit hard.

“Her vast experience gave us a leg up,” Vickers said of that difficult time. “She has facilitated important changes in the district.”

Maas served on the board with Turner for two terms.

“The Quest for Excellence is her legacy to Laguna,” Maas said.

“K spearheaded the program, did all the research and brought us all the ideas,” Maas said.

One of Turner’s maxims is “Stand for something, not against something.”

Mayor Elizabeth Pearson-Schneider asked Councilwoman Toni Iseman to join her in reading a proclamation making Jan. 7, 2006, K Turner Day.

“This was a magic day,” Iseman said.

Joan Corman met Turner through the Democratic Foundation and worked with Hunt 25 years ago on an AIDS fundraiser at what was then the Art Institute.

Marion Jacobs got to know Turner when they both were active in the city’s visioning process.

“It was such a privilege to work with her and a joy to be with someone so talented,” Jacobs said.

Turner has many sides. She has served the city on the open space committee, run marathons, earned a pilot’s license, loves to travel and party and adores her dog, Dolly.

Crowned and caped by Corman, her smile undiminished, Turner whizzed her motorized wheelchair around in front of the guests to a syncopated bump and grind rhythm played by Ward.

“Her definition of a great life is the sum of small moments well lived,” Culverhouse said. “This is one of those moments. Courage is doing what you are afraid of. There can be no courage unless you are scared. Courage is a feat that has said its prayer.

“As for you, our dear friend Dr. K Turner, ... our courage is an example, a model and an inspiration for all of us to live by.”

There was hardly a dry eye in the room.

* OUR LAGUNA is a regular feature of the Laguna Beach Coastline Pilot. Contributions are welcomed. Write to Barbara Diamond, P.O. Box 248, Laguna Beach, CA 92652; hand-deliver to Suite 22 in the Lumberyard, 384 Forest Ave.; call (949) 494-4321 or fax (949) 494-8979.

PHOTOS BY MARK DUSTIN / COASTLINE PILOTRev. Marcia Anderson, left, of the United Church of Religious Science in Burbank has a brief chat with K Turner, right, during Saturday’s luncheon in honor of Turner at the Hotel Laguna. 20060113gzgnhtke(LA)20060113isy8j6ncPHOTOS BY MARK DUSTIN / COASTLINE PILOT20060113isy8jonc(LA)Lynn Bogart of Lake Forest looks at photos of K Turner on display during Saturday’s luncheon.