One of the toughest decisions

Rose Berkowitz survived the Holocaust. The 83-year-old raised four

children. Every year during the holidays, she volunteered serving

food to the homeless and underprivileged. For most of her life, she

has been dedicated to helping others.

When she fell ill in October, however, she became the one being

cared for. Her story is similar to other people’s stories, as

children find themselves having to care for their parents.

And in many cases, the best option is to put the parent into

assisted living.

After being admitted last year to a hospital in Cleveland, the

city she’d lived in since moving to the United States decades ago,

her children decided it was time to move her to California, where

most of them live and work.

“It’s hard when your mom is ill” and lives far away, said her son,

Harry Berkowitz of Newport Beach. “There’s not much you can do.”

Harry Berkowitz bought his mother a condo in a senior community,

but shortly after she moved to California, he realized she could no

longer live on her own.

“I liked the condo,” Rose Berkowitz said. “But I cannot take care

of myself. The time comes that you have to give up.”

Harry Berkowitz said it’s been a difficult adjustment, looking

after someone who spent so many years taking care of him and his

siblings. He said Rose Berkowitz lived on her own and drove her car

everywhere until the day she got sick.

Harry Berkowitz and his sister, who lives in Irvine, searched

among all the local assisted-living facilities before deciding on

Avalon at Newport.

“We tried to make it home for her,” he said, adding that all the

furniture in his mother’s one-bedroom suite came from Ohio and is the

furniture he grew up with.

Mary Ellen Heilgest, executive director at Avalon at Newport, said

the decision to move parents into assisted living is one of the

hardest decisions to make. She said at Avalon, the employees strive

to make it feel like home for the residents -- even allowing people

to bring pets with them.

“When someone moves into Avalon at Newport, you become part of our

family,” Heilgest said. “We’re known for our hugs and kisses.”

One of the reasons Harry Berkowitz chose Avalon is because it’s

minutes from his work and home, so he can visit his mother every day.

He said he also visits with the other residents because not everyone

is fortunate to have children who spend time there.

“We just try to help people,” he said of his family’s philosophy.

“Not just Mom; I try to make other people happy. These people just

need TLC. Some get it from their families, others don’t.”

He said he does whatever he can to ensure Rose Berkowitz enjoys

her time at Avalon. Every other Friday, he takes her to the salon to

get a massage, a manicure and a pedicure.

“The care here is excellent,” Harry Berkowitz said. “Her needs are

taken care of.... We’re fortunate that whatever illness she came out

here with has gone away.”

Avalon resident Roxie Blackmore said her son found her the place,

and she moved in nine months ago.

“If you can’t live at home, you can’t do better than this place,”

Blackmore said. “This place can’t be beat.”

* LINDSAY SANDHAM is the news assistant. She can be reached at

(714) 966-4625 or [email protected].