The cold, deflating facts

Here’s the cruel, crucial piece to the fate of the Lido Theatre’s

penguin: He could see his conquerors.

And they could see him.

They lurked in City Hall, just doing their job, keeping city codes

and regulations. And each day on their way to work, they were taunted

by the towering penguin sitting, both goofily and smugly, atop the

theater as an advertisement for the film “March of the Penguins.”

Really, that was pushing the envelope a bit much. If the penguin

had been tucked away amid all the lights at Big Newport, let’s say,

he might have lasted. Of course, then he wouldn’t have been such a

great bit of advertising.

As a refresher, the penguin violated the city’s sign codes, which

don’t allow for specialty signs, including inflatable ones -- though

people can apply for permit, which the Planning Commission has to

approve. (That explains why there isn’t a giant, inflatable gorilla

wearing sunglasses on top of Fletcher Jones, in the tradition of

seemingly every other auto dealer.) Earlier this month, city workers

forced the theater to remove the penguin, and the theater was fined

$100.

Or, as the penguins say, 100 cold ones.