Unraveling placement and apostrophes

JUNE CASAGRANDE

In an article that cut into my day and left me short of time to put

much clever Juneness into this grammar column, I just wrote, “The

Parks, Beaches and Recreation Commission on Tuesday will consider

....”

Had I been speaking, I would have probably said, “....will

consider on Tuesday ....” But because it was a news article, I put

the “on Tuesday” before the verb.

I’ve been writing this way for so long that I do it on autopilot.

I had pretty much forgotten the reason why until recently when a

colleague brought it up.

This construct of putting the day before the action is awkward and

completely contrary to the way people speak, he wrote.

Struck dumb by the truth of his statement, it took me a while to

remember why I write it that way. Slowly, I pieced together a vague

recollection of an example involving the word “said.”

There’s a problem with saying, “The president said Monday that

....” Want to guess what the problem is? The word “said” is followed

immediately by the word “Monday.” So, technically, this means that

the first word that came out of the president’s mouth was “Monday,”

or, in other variations, “Monday that,” or “On Monday.”

I suppose it’s possible that he could deliver a speech on a Monday

that outlined something that would happen in exactly a week. And I

think the news reports might sound a little something like this. “The

president said on Monday, ‘On Monday ....’”

And I guess that’s an example of how newspapers rewrite the rules

in ways that leave the rest of us dazed and confused.

Here’s another example, as pointed out by yet another Times

Community News staff member.

“There are constant references to ‘girls basketball’ or ‘boys

soccer.’ So when the Pilot sports staffers cover something at UC

Irvine, will the events be referred to as ‘women basketball’ or ‘men

soccer,’ or is the apostrophe key not working?”

That’s so poignant and well observed that I wish I could take this

side. But actually, the practice of dropping the apostrophe in such

cases has gained widespread acceptance. The little cheat we use is to

say that, in “girls soccer,” “girls” is not a possessive, it’s an

adjective. Kind of like “girlie soccer” or something. But, of course,

this is just an excuse. No one really believes it.

“Teachers union” and “teachers college” are other examples. Both

are clearly meant as plural possessives; it’s their union, the

teachers’, it’s their college. But at one point the newspaper powers

that be decided the apostrophe wasn’t worth the hassle.

Messing with the rules is a slippery slope. Almost invariably, the

new rule flies directly in the face of some other rule that, if

changed, would create a domino effect threatening to unravel the

entire language. To avoid this, the rule rewriters settle for

baffling and annoying inconsistencies such as the fact that both the

Los Angeles and Associated Press style guides agree: workers’

compensation always gets an apostrophe.

And you thought your confusion was your fault, didn’t you?

* JUNE CASAGRANDE covers Newport Beach and John Wayne Airport. She

may be reached at (949) 574-4232 or by e-mail at

[email protected].