Hoag arrives in style

Richard Dunn

When the Heisman Trophy winner meets the Lowsman Trophy winner

Thursday night for Irrelevant Week, the two former college football

players -- USC quarterback Carson Palmer and NCAA Division III

Gustavus Adolphus College wide receiver Ryan Hoag, respectively --

might be closer in NFL potential than most people think.

Hoag, you see, could fit well in the Oakland Raiders’ offense in

“about three or four years,” after the team’s current wide receivers,

future Hall of Famers Jerry Rice and Tim Brown, consider retiring.

“It’s a great situation to be in. There are no expectations of

starting and I’ve got two of the best wide receivers to learn from,”

Hoag said Monday night at the Arrival Party at the Newport Dunes,

where Irrelevant Week XXVIII was officially kicked off.

Amid a Hoag Hospital theme, Mr. Irrelevant XXVIII arrived via

ambulance and was escorted onto the stage on a stretcher by

cheerleaders and blond nurses in short skirts. The honoree climbed

atop the lifeguard tower and was subsequently showered with

proclamations and gifts, including an autographed Randy Moss Vikings

jersey, which Mr. Irrelevant tossed aside with tongue in cheek.

Actually, Hoag has plenty of reason to believe he’s the next

coming of Moss. Mr. Irrelevant XXVIII has been clocked in the 40-yard

dash in 4.33 seconds and is a three-time NCAA Division III

All-American sprinter in track and field.

“I had a good experience at mini-camp (with the Raiders),” Hoag

said. “I never learned so much in such a short period of time. It was

physically demanding, too.”

Selected No. 262 in the NFL draft and absolutely dead last by the

Oakland Raiders, Hoag is out to prove he can make it, just like he

did at Gustavus Adolphus, where he holds numerous school records.

“He was tearing up the cornerbacks in college ... he’d jump three

feet over them,” said his longtime friend, Ryan Volk, who was invited

by Mr. Irrelevant to join him this week in Orange County, along with

other friends and family, including his mother, Cindy Clobes.

“I’m so proud of him,” his mother said. “It’s so exciting being

here. I feel like we’re being treated like movie stars. This is

surreal.”

Hoag, who will make his first-ever trip to the beach today and

tonight appear on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, said his reception at

Monday’s Arrival Party was “more overwhelming than I had ever

imagined.”

Among Hoag’s sea of gifts, passed out by Irrelevant Week founder

Paul Salata, was a key to the city of Newport Beach. On one end, he

could get into Newport Beach; on the other end, he could get out of

Oakland. He also received a Traditional Jewelers watch, an

autographed football by former Mr. Irrelevant Jim Finn and a Stater

Bros. meat cutters uniform.

Hoag, who has size (6-foot-2, 200 pounds), speed and excellent

leaping ability, appears to be an ideal Mr. Irrelevant with his charm

and charisma.

Hoag, who played only one year of high school football and that

was as a JV quarterback, grew up in Minneapolis, then spent one year

at Wake Forest as a walk-on soccer player. He returned to his roots

and enrolled at Gustavus Adolphus in St. Peter, Minn., where he was

an All-Minnesota Intercollegiate Athletic Conference performer three

times.