Kids don’t need so much war news

One of the advantages of the information age is that there is no

shortage of, well, information. Turn on the TV or the radio or pick

up any newspaper or magazine and there are zillions of experts who

will tell you anything, from how to please your mate to how to mate

as you please.

A lot of the information is not good for kids. War is not good for

kids, and they don’t have to be within striking distance of a Scud

missile to feel the effects. There is war anxiety in our home, some

of it expressed by our son, who is 10 years old.

On Wednesday evening, only two hours after our first bombs hit

Iraq, I was tucking him in, and he asked me if we were at war with

Iraq. While this was a long way from reading a chapter out of

“Charlotte’s Web,” it was important because I did not want him going

to sleep anxious.

“Yes, we are,” I replied. “Are you worried?”

“A little,” he said.

At that point, I got to the heart of the matter quickly.

“The president believes that Saddam Hussein is a very bad man who

will try to hurt many people unless we prevent it,” I said. “But you

are in no danger of being hurt here, and neither is mommy or daddy or

Bean. We will not have missiles attacking us and we will not be

poisoned by gas.”

Ordinarily, I would not have gone into such detail about the

gruesome ways in which we could die, but I knew that these two issues

were on his mind and I thought it better to confront them. It worked

-- he smiled and gave me a hug, and then went to sleep.

There is one piece of advice that is common throughout all of the

“What to Tell Your Kids” columns I am reading. One hundred percent of

these advisors suggest that kids not watch war coverage on TV or that

TV viewing be severely limited. I am all over that one.

As long as you’re going to follow the advice of these experts and

turn off the tube, why not extend the pleasure and keep it off after

the war’s over? Oh well, just a suggestion.

Here is some other unsolicited advice for parents:

1) Keep the war news away from kids who are not in school. Four-

and 5-year-olds don’t need to hear any of this, so don’t turn on the

radio or TV while they are awake, and don’t talk about the war at

dinner. Kids are sharp and they will sense your anxiety.

2) Be proactive with kids who know about the war. Ask them what

they are hearing in school. Chances are good that their friends are

telling your kids that Saddam Hussein and his army are on the way to

America to take over the country, or that Iraq has developed a bomb

capable of overpowering even the Power Puff Girls. But don’t discuss

it over dinner. That meal should only be for good news.

3) Get teenagers involved in the war effort. For many parents,

this is a very good opportunity to demonstrate to teens just how

blessed we are and how their life in America is so sweet. Go online

and join a letter-writing campaign. Contact the Red Cross and ask how

your teen can send a “care package” to a service man or woman in the

war. You may be surprised at the heart your child has.

4) Other than dealing with kids with Nos. 1 through 3, go about

your business as though there were no war on. Go on the vacation

you’ve planned, make the purchase you intended to make and keep

moving forward. To do anything else will make your kids nervous --

and then the bad guys win. Besides, the president has asked you to do

this.

5) If your kids are in school, check in with their teachers and

find out what they are being told in class. Some teachers will not

discuss the war at all, some will have to talk about it because they

know their students won’t be able to concentrate on school if they

don’t. But it would help if everyone was on the same page with the

same message.

(Teachers: If you are discussing the war in class, please let

parents know and let them know what you said.)

Sadly, I believe that the terror and fear that grips other nations

-- the same terror and fear we’ve avoided for many years -- will now

be at our doorstep. Don’t take that as an antiwar statement, because

it would have been here with or without a war.

The other “best” we can hope for is that our children are not

victims of their parents’ fears. That goes for Iraqi children, too.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and freelance writer.

Readers may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at

(949) 642-6086.