Comments & Curiosities

Peter Buffa

Can’t we all just get along? Apparently not. I sense some hostility

about this year’s Newport Harbor Christmas Boat Parade. So does Brett

Hemphill, former volunteer chairman of the parade’s board.

After the board suggested some changes in the schedule and route for

next year’s parade, a number of people had a “shmoo,” which is to be

expected with any long-standing tradition. One person stepped way, way

over the line however, and threatened to do bad things to Brett’s

business, Hemphill’s Rugs & Carpets in Costa Mesa, at which point Brett

tendered his resignation.

Hmm. Perhaps a little perspective would be helpful. Around four

thousand innocent people died on Sept. 11. We are in the middle of a war

against a terrorist group that is committed to our destruction. Some

nudnik is mailing deadly anthrax spores around the country. In spite of

all that, someone in our little corner of the universe is driven to

threaten someone else over where next year’s boat parade will go and for

how many nights it will go there. I have no further comment at this time.

But for those of us from this planet, let’s be thankful we have

another holiday season and another Christmas Boat Parade to celebrate.

The parade is a great local tradition. Can we at least all agree on that?

Thank you so much.

This year’s iteration will be the 93rd, although therein lies a

mystery. It is generally believed that the first Christmas Boat Parade --

which has had more names than Larry King has had wives -- was held in

1908, thus the “93rd” appellation.

But according to TalesofBalboa.com, a great Web site for local Newport

and Balboa lore, a man named Walter Gustin started the ball rolling and

the boats bobbing in 1913 with what was called the “Illuminated Water

Parade.” Unless my math fails me, which it almost always does, that would

make this the 88th Christmas Boat Parade. If you’re out there and you can

solve this, let’s hear it. I’ve got to know.

But 1908, 1913, whatever. It might interest you to know that parades

of lighted boats are a holiday tradition that is much older than the

country itself. Parades of lights on water and land have been going on in

places like Williamsburg and Jamestown in the Virginia Colony since the

1600s. If you ever have a chance to see the “Grand Illumination” in

Williamsburg, by the way, do not miss it.

Being a settler in Virginia in the 1600s was hard. Food was scarce,

the weather was nasty and stores were miles and miles apart. All sorts of

things were hiding in the woods just waiting to jump out and eat you.

Telephones, televisions, telecommunications -- anything that started with

“tele” -- were still, I don’t know, a hundred years off.

These were not frivolous people. Actually, they were dull people. No

sense of humor. None. Yet, isn’t it interesting that one of the few

frivolous moments they allowed themselves was much the same celebration

we’ll enjoy this year for the 93rd or 88th time? Three hundred years ago,

the lights were candles and lanterns, and there were fewer Sea Rays and

Ferrettis, but the concept was the same -- holidays, lights, rum,

fun.Today, there are more holiday boat parades around the country than

you can count, But if we wanted to puff ourselves up and say ours is one

of the biggest and oldest and best, we would have more than little

legitimacy for that puffiness.

According to the Tales of Balboa Web site, California Gov. C.C. Young

said in 1929 that parade was “one of the most beautiful things I have

ever seen. I think its most charming feature is its freedom from

commercialism.” How about that? We’re not talking about some nobody here,

people, we’re talking about “C.C. Young.” Is there anyone who hasn’t

heard of C.C. Young, for heaven’s sake?

Oh, good. I was afraid I was the only one. I did check, though. C.C.

Young was governor from 1927 to 1931. He also served as lieutenant

governor and speaker of the assembly, rode a motorcycle and was the

inspiration for “C.C. Rider” by Eric Burton & The Animals. That last part

isn’t true. I made it up.

If C.C.’s endorsement isn’t enough for you, I’ll have you know that

The New York Times has called the Newport Harbor Boat Parade one of the

country’s “great holiday traditions.” Until the 1930s, the boat parade

was mostly rowboats, canoes and other wimpy little boats. The whole deal

was more along the line of the Doo Dah Parade than the Tournament of

Roses.

By the mid-’30s, things were getting serious. The boats were bigger

and stronger and more luxurious, and the lighting and decorations grew

more and more elaborate. Today, the “Wow” factor never fails to wow. Some

owners spend many, many lire decorating and lighting their nautical toys

and aqueous pride and joys. Could be just me, but my impression over the

last few years is that the quest for conspicuous illumination has

subsided a bit, and people are striving more for innovative twists and

clever concepts.

The jaw-dropping, mega-boats with the galaxies of lights are always

amazing, but I must say, I get a comparable kick from the guppies in

between. There’s something about two people in an aluminum boat from

Sears with one string of lights and two flashlights that causes a large

smile, year after year.

So there you have it. Go see it. Enjoy it. Don’t stress about it. And

if you happen to know how long this has been going on, let me know. I

gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays.

He may be reached via e-mail at [email protected].