STEVE SMITH -- What’s up

In a crowded Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix, a young man of 19 begins a

conversation on a public telephone by loudly uttering a string of

epithets about the airline that has obviously caused the weather delay of

his flight.

A visibly upset father of two children taps the young man on the

shoulder and says sharply: “Hey, watch your language!”

A look of shock appears on the young man’s face and he says he’s

sorry. The father is then told by a woman nearby how much she appreciated

what he said to the kid on the phone.

Days later, at the shopping center across from UC Irvine, a different

young man is walking across a courtyard with a female friend and loudly

utters a famous four-letter word. The same man from the airport, this

time accompanied by his wife and two children, screams across the

courtyard, “Do you mind? My children can hear you!”

The profane student offers a sincere apology across the courtyard. The

man’s children were both visibly upset and impressed by their dad’s

unhesitating condemnation of the profanity.

At Fairview Park in Costa Mesa, two young men are riding motorized

scooters on a walking and bike path. The scooters are not only illegal

there, they are also loud and are scaring the dogs of a man walking past

them.

But instead of telling the boys to stop or threatening to notify the

authorities or offering any other solution, the man yells two of George

Carlin’s “seven dirty words.”

At the last Costa Mesa City Council meeting, a man referred to this

newspaper in a derogatory term. Only two weeks prior, this same man

sought my help to raise the awareness of a problem in his community. His

neighborhood problem is bigger than my dislike of his speech and I plan

to investigate his claims, but I can’t help but wonder why this man could

not at least have had the decency to mind his tongue in the interim.

Not one City Council member stood in the defense of this newspaper,

even though I know that at least four out of five read it daily and

appreciate the community communication it provides.

I’m sorry to report that those thoughtless comments are a regular

feature at City Council meetings. Twice a month, a string of regulars

speaks during the public portion of the assembly, more to hear themselves

play to the gallery, and perhaps to see themselves later on television,

than for any other reason, for they rarely offer any serious constructive

criticism. Often, their tirades are personal and rude.

Of course, it is their right to speak and as long as their comments

are kept short of yelling “Fire!” in the council chambers, they can say

whatever they want. But it is my belief that if there is any sincere

desire on their part to improve the city, regardless of what that may

involve, one way to ensure defeat is to antagonize the five

decision-makers by insulting them.

The members of the City Council should condemn these comments at every

turn. I know it’s not the politically expedient thing to do, but the goal

of developing a more civilized discourse is more important. Part of the

reason this behavior continues is because no one stands up to condemn it.

What we accomplish when we stand mute in the face of this bad behavior

is a lower standard of living, a perpetuation of the decline of our

language, the decline of higher thinking and the decline of our

community.

Calling someone names, or calling a newspaper a name, is no trick -- a

child can do that. But to fashion reasoned, constructive, intelligent,

civil speech is difficult. It’s so hard that most people work to avoid

it, relying instead on profanity and personal remarks to make a point. In

the end they have only insulted themselves and shown the community that

they are incapable or unwilling to be decent citizens or to set an

example for our children.

This is not at all a matter of censorship. As I stated, we all have a

wide berth for our speech. But with that freedom of speech comes a

responsibility even higher than being civil. We have a responsibility to

improve: to improve ourselves and our community and I have never seen an

instance in which rudeness inspired anyone or anything to a higher level.

Perhaps I’m asking for too much. Perhaps, in an age when the broadcast

media has determined that anything goes, people have been conditioned to

accept a lower standard of speech and behavior and that change is

impossible.

That may be so, but there are more than a few of us who still care,

and if we catch you in the act of your incivility, be prepared to hear

about it.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and freelance writer. Readers

may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at (949) 642-6086.