RETAIL ROUNDUP

We received a press release from Atomix, a company marketing atomic

clocks as a remedy to the confusion caused by the switch back to standard

time (which happens this Sunday, as you know).

“Thousands of Americans ... will find themselves in a quandary about

which clocks they have changed, and which they haven’t,” Atomix informs

us. “It’s almost inevitable that flights will be missed and students will

be late to class.”

An atomic clock alleviates the “angst” of the time change, the company

claims, because it doesn’t need to be reset.

But what of the angst that comes from the fact that winter is coming?

What about the lack of sunlight? Can we have a remedy for that?

What we really want, if we can be perfectly honest, is not a more

accurate alarm clock but a life in which we don’t need to get out of bed.

ADVICE FOR READERS

The Department of Agriculture sent us a very friendly tip sheet --

just in time for the holidays! -- about sending perishable goods through

the mail.

“Refrigerated foods must be mailed cold or frozen in a foam box,” we

were told.

Please keep that in mind when you send us food. And remember: the only

good press kit is a press kit that includes something we can eat.

Thank you.

D’OH!

Did you read last week’s blurb in this space about the “What I have to

be thankful for?” contest sponsored by Mimi’s Cafe?

Of course you did. Like most Pilot readers, you are religious in your

consumption of Retail Roundup. You like it even more than you liked the

formerly funny police blotter, whose lack of mirth you now lament.

However, even we at Retail Roundup sometimes make mistakes, and we

made a small one in regard to the essay contest.

It turns out the essays should be given not to the people at the cafe,

who will only blink in confusion at the submissions, but to the marvelous

people at the Frank Groff Agency, 3730 E. Broadway, 2nd floor, Long Beach

CA 90803.

Frank Groff’s people will then critically evaluate the essays to

determine whether you were really thankful, or if you were just faking

it.