EDUCATIONALLY SPEAKING -- gay geiser-sandoval

I’m back from vacation and I found out that I’m a wimp. I did almost all

we had planned to do. It was rough. First, we had to fit all of our gear,

including tent, sleeping bags, and grub stuff, into a rental car that was

smaller than a van. We also took the laptop computer, cell phone, and

clothes for all occasions. I was exhausted just making out the packing

list. If that wasn’t enough suffering, our seats didn’t recline, and

there were no captain’s chairs in the rental car.

Are you crying buckets for us yet?

Next, we had to use our handy-dandy trip guide to navigate from the

Portland Airport to our first stop. We had to cross many huge bridges,

and eventually got down to a two-lane road. Because it took us more than

2 hours to drive the first 100 miles, the Cranberry Research Museum was

closed. We had to read the signs by ourselves on the self-guided tour.

Heck, by the time we scoped out Long Beach in Washington, and made it to

the mansion in Aberdeen, we were tired, hungry, and crabby. It was 7

p.m., and we had been in a plane and car all day, with peanuts for food.

Woe was us!

We felt much better after we had a gourmet meal and relaxed in the

carriage house. Things were even better the next morning, after a good

night’s sleep on a feather bed, our three-course breakfast, and a change

into fresh clothes.

Some times were tougher, when we were bereft of most gadgets. Nights in a

tent found us without a restroom. We were without lights, save the stars,

the campfire, and our flashlights. Nights in the lodges found us without

televisions, phones or music. Our kayaks and rafts required us to supply

the power as well as keep our balance. Some nights, we had to fend off

the mosquitoes that were staging a state dinner, with our tasty blood for

every course.

An unexpected challenge was walking on snow packs, since the mountains of

Washington and Oregon got record snowfall this year; more than 80 feet of

the white stuff. Where we expected to see meadows of wildflowers, we saw

mountains of snow. The trails and paths were about four feet below the

snow packs, and our cross-trainer shoes were no match for the slick and

slushy stuff.

Our sense of deprivation and roughing it really came into focus when we

visited the Interpretive Oregon Trail Center in Oregon City. It is

located at the end of the Oregon Trail, which saw a lot of action more

than 100 years ago. The center did a great job of bringing history to

life, much of it by recounting the trip from journal and diary entries.

These pioneers left behind everything they had, including friends and

family, to make a 2,000-mile journey across what now is the U.S. However,

instead of hopping on a plane, they went by wagon, at about two miles an

hour. Since riding in the wagon was so rough, they mainly walked. They

used guidebooks, which were often written by those who had not made the

journey. There were no stores to buy those items left at home. Light was

from candles. As we journeyed over the mountains, valleys, and rivers of

the Pacific Northwest, I wondered how often I would have been in total

despair had I spent months on the journey, only to face these hazards in

the last 100 miles.

So, the educational lesson I learned from our vacation was that it was

much better that I was making the trip now instead of back then. The

other thing I will remember is that our life, as well as our schools, is

pretty darn remarkable when put into perspective. Here is my list of

vacation truths, some of which are universal, and some which apply to

that locale. If you want our play-by-play itinerary, contact me at

[email protected].

1. Males deprived of flipping TV channels have to regain their sense of

control by flipping to a new radio station each nanosecond until the rest

of the family screams for mercy.

2. Some of the best sites don’t cost money, don’t take a ticket, don’t

require a wait in line, and have been around for millions of years.

3. Costa Mesa needs an International Rose Garden (like the one in

Portland) right as you exit the International Friendship Bridge, near

SCP.

4. Pick your wiener-roasting sticks with great care. Choose a skinny one.

5. If you really want to see what is around you, and then learn all about

it, take a walk with a National Park ranger.

6. Banana slugs are hard to find. Make sure to use a stick that finds

banana slugs instead of bananas.

7. When there are no TVs, computers, radios, or phones at the inn, people

gather to talk, play games, work puzzles and otherwise interact.

8. On the sixth day of vacation, plan less “we time” and more “me time.”

9. If the soup in the restaurant doesn’t conform to the shape of the

bowl, get out while you can. Your stomach will be thankful later.

10. If you bring pianists and/or singers with you, you can always have

music.

11. Ocean swells are exponentially bigger when you see them from a kayak.

Kayaks and rafts work better when the paddlers are in sync.

12. If you want to make sure that you don’t fall out of the raft in the

rapids, tell the guide you are a lawyer.

13. The best time to find a good restaurant is when you have given up and

decided to skip dinner.

14. Alpacas make weird noises when you least expect it.15. It takes

longer to level an RV than it does to set up a tent and equip it for the

night.

16. Orcas are nice enough to come visit the humans in the cheap seats, on

land. Don’t bother with the whale-watching boat.17. Staying at B and B’s

is neat. Wouldn’t we all be better off if we could eat a leisurely

breakfast while meeting people from all over the country? How about

opening up a “Breakfast” meeting place, where travelers and locals can

eat and converse together? GAY GIESER-SANDOVAL is a Costa Mesa resident.

Her column runs Mondays.