Newport Beach artist Kitty Noir confronts her past to help others move on in ‘War Stories’

Jilan Ji carries a lavender coin bearing a quote from Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” with her everywhere she goes. The words of Polonius — “To thine own self be true” — shine through its painted surface.

The token signifies one of her proudest achievements: her first 365 days of sobriety. To earn it, she had to find herself after years of substance abuse had stripped away practically everything she had to live for beyond staying high.

Pop singer Kitty Noir holds a coin commemorating her first year of sobriety.

(Eric Licas)

It’s been about two years since she found the strength to tell a friend she was done and wanted to get clean. He took her to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting that night, and that was her first step toward regaining control of her life. She had found work as a traveling nurse before deciding to go back to school and recently settled on a major in film at Orange Coast College. She lives in her own apartment with her cat on campus, something she never thought she could have managed when she was using.

“I learned a lot of life lessons,” she said. “I learned morals and boundaries. I’m a way stronger person, in general. I know how to stick up for myself now. I know not to put myself in toxic situations. I’ve learned so much from those experiences.”

She also turned to music as an outlet and wrapped up her first tour of performances under the stage name Kitty Noir last year. Since then she’s been pouring her soul into her sophomore album. She plans to release “War Stories” on Jan. 15, her “sober birthday.”

The pop singer expanded her skills for her second full-length effort, mixing and mastering all but two of the 15 tracks on the upcoming record. She was partly inspired by studio time spent with producer J Beatzz, who worked on the other two. Other notable artists he’s lent his talents to include Travis Scott, Nicki Minaj, Future, Rihanna, Miguel, Chris Brown, Stevie Wonder and OutKast.

Kitty Noir works the board at Birdland Studios in Los Angeles Thursday. She’s releasing her sophomore album, “War Stories” on Jan. 15, the date she became sober.

(Courtesy of Kitty Noir)

Noir also adds shades of grit to her pop star persona on “War Stories,” delving deeper into her struggle with addiction and some of the underlying trauma associated with it. Writing the song “Therapy Session,” for example, felt so personal that she almost held back on releasing it.

“I had to put myself in a really dark place, and I had to mentally put myself back where I was years ago when I was out using,” Noir said. “I felt a lot of the feelings and the anger and you can hear that on the song [“Therapy Session”] where I’m almost screaming.”

Another song, “Dear Grandma,” refers to the day she missed her grandmother’s funeral because she was getting high at a motel instead. It serves as an apology, a letter of gratitude and a reminder to cherish the limited time we have with our loved ones.

Many of the tracks on her new album are downbeat anthems of self reflection. Noir said she hopes opening up about her experiences will help people in similar situations know they’re not alone, and a life after addiction is possible.

Life in recovery has its own challenges. Alcohol is ubiquitous in many social settings for young adults, making it harder for people working on their sobriety like Noir to meet new people. At times, she’s had to step away from individuals in order to stay on the path she has chosen for herself.

“I can’t go out with them. It’s not that I can’t, but I don’t want to. They kind of peer pressure me sometimes, and that’s when I’m like, ‘OK, I’m going to stop hanging out with you because I don’t want to be around [drugs and alcohol], and you just don’t understand. I’d rather surround myself with people who do understand.’”

Building a community of people working toward the same goal of recovery has been critical for her. Many of them have become part of the modest fan base she has been cultivating, and finally getting a chance to connect with them at live shows has been one of the most gratifying experiences of her life.

“I would meet them at one and they were like ‘When’s you’re next show?’ And so they kept coming to different shows, and it was really cool to see people coming back.”

She said she’s proud to be among a relative handful of pop artists working to build a space where people overcoming their addictions are seen and can express themselves.

Pop singer Kitty Noir poses for a photo at the Lab in Costa Mesa Thursday. Her sophomore album, “War Stories,” drops Jan. 15.

(Eric Licas)