Stephen Colbert cheers the Supreme Court's same-sex marriage ruling

Stephen Colbert cheers the Supreme Court’s same-sex marriage ruling

June 29, 2015 1:46 PM PT

Add Stephen Colbert to the chorus of celebrities and media personalities cheering Friday’s Supreme Court’s decision in Obergefell vs. Hodges, which struck down state laws barring same-sex marriage.

In a video posted to the “Late Show’s” YouTube account over the weekend, Colbert broke out the rainbow flags and congratulated gays and lesbians for gaining the right to marry in all 50 states.

“If you’re a homosexual and living in North Dakota, all your problems are solved,” he said.

He also took aim at one of his favorite targets, the Supreme Court’s 2010 ruling in Citizens United vs. FEC, which lifted restrictions on political contributions made by corporations.

“Wow, history moves fast,” he said. “It’s hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did.”

Though Colbert, liberated from his satirical persona, seemed genuinely happy about the news, he noted that not everyone felt the same way -- like gays with commitment issues “who are asking their partner if we could just please just talk about this when we get home from work today.”

Also not too pleased with the decision? The four justices who ruled against it. “I’ll let you guess which ones,” Colbert said, breaking into a Frankenstein impression.

He mocked Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr., whose dissent congratulated gays and lesbians for gaining the right to marry but decreed ominously that their legal victory had “nothing to do with” the Constitution.

“Gay couples, you can expect this card from him at your wedding: You guys are perfect for each other and a cancer on our democracy.”

But he reserved his harshest derision for the fiery Antonin Scalia, who said, “I would hide my head in a bag” if he ever joined a majority opinion that began as Anthony Kennedy’s did.

“I could have sworn he was already hiding his head in a flesh-toned cinch sack,” Colbert said, adding, “Please come on my show, sir.”

Now that would be great television.

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