A ghost story about new motherhood? A TV writer’s debut novel explores the female psyche
On the Shelf
Dearest
By Jacquie Walters
Mulholland: 304 pages, $29
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Jacquie Walters’ debut, “Dearest†— out Sept. 17 — is a horror novel about new motherhood, including the demands of a breastfeeding infant, as well as how postpartum hormones affect a woman’s psyche. Since Walters and her husband have two young children, she knows her terrain well. The family lives in Brentwood, Calif., where Walters has built a career as a scriptwriter with several television pilots to her name, including the upcoming adaptation of Melissa de la Cruz’s bestselling vampire series, “Blue Bloods.â€
The road to screenwriting and fiction writing has been circuitous for the new author, who graduated from the University of Virginia with a degree in film and theater and moved to Los Angeles with the intention of acting. “I had always been a straight-A student who put in the work and got results. When I was going on auditions, I put in the work, but I rarely got the A. It felt so arbitrary and out of my control. So I did a total 180 to find something in which I could be accountable, and it happened to be working on a National Geographic reality show.â€
Clearly, Walters has a story to tell beyond the one in her chilling new novel. She spoke from her home office via video conference about her professional life in Hollywood, how she used one of Tina Fey’s scripts as a textbook and why horror fiction can help teach us about taboo subjects.
You started out at the University of Virginia, which doesn’t seem like the immediate choice for a scriptwriter.
At UVA, I was in the Echols Scholars Program, which allows you to design a self-directed major. Mine was in film and theater. I hadn’t wanted to go to a conservatory program or anything focused on one industry because I wanted a full college experience. I believe it’s really important for creatives not to silo ourselves because we’re meant to reflect humanity. You want to be able to access all of that when you’re acting or writing or directing.
How did your experience with the National Geographic show lead to your current work?
The showrunner asked me if I was prepared to travel. I immediately replied yes, envisioning that I’d swim with sharks in South Africa or track polar bears in Alaska so, of course, I got sent to a down-and-dirty campsite in Vermont for a show called “Building Wild.†Which, by the way, is why “Dearest†is set in Vermont. I got to know that state’s weather and geography well. I also became a very fast typist, because I was in charge of taking field notes and sometimes I’d have three producers running on-the-fly interviews all at once.
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But you missed being more creative.
I did. At the time, I was heavily into comedy. I admired Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, all of these great comedians who had started as writers. So I thought, “Maybe the way in here is through writing.†I know myself and I need some kind of deadline when I work. The Austin Film Festival was coming up and I sent something. When my script made it to the second round, it gave me confidence. I never took any screenwriting courses. My very first pilot was written by printing out one of Tina Fey’s early “30 Rock†drafts and using it as a blueprint.
Let’s talk about “Dearest.†Jacquie, haven’t you heard that books are dead and no one reads anymore?
First, I think I was way too naive to know that books are dead. I’ve always had a book in my hand and I’ve always had this pipe dream of writing a book in the back of my head. When I started thinking about writing a novel, I knew, once again, that I would need accountability. So I found the Stanford novel writing program, applied and was accepted. I was a little bit of a fish out of water. Most people in the program want to write the next Great American Novel. I was like, “I want to write the next ‘Gone Girl.’†I did write a novel through that program, but it was not the next “Gone Girl.†It wasn’t even “Dearest.†But what I learned about structure was really propulsive for my career, because I finally saw that I was more interested in writing dark crime thrillers than I was in writing comedy. I followed that impulse and wrote my first drama pilot, which sold to ABC network. We were three days from cameras rolling when we got shut down because of COVID-19. It was March 2020.
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You also had a baby that year, correct?
Yes, our first child was born in August 2020. We were supposed to use a gift of a night nurse for two weeks but couldn’t do it because of the pandemic. There I was, trying and yet failing to breastfeed through so many lonely nights. I feel like I’m going to cry right now just talking about it. It just was so hard to accept that I wasn’t going to be able to do this thing and I felt guilty too. I had mom friends who would talk about nursing as this amazing bond and how easy they found it. I tried everything. Nothing worked for us except round-the-clock pumping, and that’s even more isolating because you’re not with your baby in that moment. When I decided to use formula with our second child, it was the best decision I ever made.
As you demonstrate in “Dearest,†those who give birth are also under the influence of powerful hormones.
I remember being in the hospital bed, nursing in those early hours after birth and experiencing horrible abdominal pain. The nurses finally said, “Oh, your uterus is contracting.†And it was even more painful the second time around — no one tells you that it gets worse with each baby. Things that you think will get easier, don’t. I think it’s taboo culture that has landed so many women in this position. We don’t talk about the birth process. Few of us see breastfeeding in action before we’re supposed to do it ourselves. I think this is why I love horror. Not everyone would be comfortable reading a story about postpartum psychosis, but everyone loves a ghost story. If that ghost story can get them thinking about something like postpartum psychosis, then I’ve done my job.
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