Give the guy eight weeks

Why men don’t call back: The reason is that often when a man is out on a date, his body is there, but his soul is not -- which means his mind and his will are elsewhere [“Where’d He Go? Don’t Wanna Know,” by Leslie Billera, March 16]. And since most men have difficulty thinking and feeling at the same time, on the first few dates he’s not likely to be thinking about you as a whole person. Rather, what he’s mostly feeling is lust, and he’s concentrating primarily on getting you into the sack. Later, when he’s alone and no longer eyeing your body, he can begin to think about you as a human being. It is then that he may decide that, for whatever reason, you and he are not right for each other.

Waiting is hell, but I maintain that a man is not gone unless it has been eight weeks, because it can take that long for him to process a decision.

So when you go out on a date, put his name down on a calendar. If he doesn’t call in eight weeks, he doesn’t like you. But by that time, you are not likely to care.

SANDRA HARMON

Los Angeles

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Leslie Billera appears to be delightfully unfettered by convention and seems to possess a fair degree of fearlessness and a keen, irreverent wit.

ANDREW MAGLIOLO

Los Angeles