Up to Their Necks in Trouble ... Even Without Sprewell

The first sign came when Latrell Sprewell and Ron Artest were given “save the season” status, making it official the Clippers have now reached the panic stage, collectively waking up and screaming, “Yikes, we really are the Clippers!”

Ask Coach Mike Dunleavy about the season that is slipping away and reported trade overtures for Artest, and he says, “I know nothing,” confirming the fact the Clippers have the right man for the job.

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THE CLIPPERS were the feel-good story of the NBA season a few weeks ago, but now they can’t even beat the Lakers, having lost nine of 14, even including Saturday night’s victory over Seattle, and are probably checking on the shooting percentages and parole status of Charles Manson.

They haven’t been the same since Corey Maggette suffered a foot injury, proving his value to the team, so what do the Clippers do? They try to trade him to Indiana for Milton Bradley X 2.

The good news: Dunleavy and General Manager Elgin Baylor met with Artest last week and survived.

Published reports suggest the Clippers were willing to trade Maggette or Chris Wilcox to Indiana, but the Pacers rejected those proposals, and why should they be different from any other team by not wanting anything to do with Wilcox?

The Clippers asked Sam Cassell to place a 911 call to Sprewell, who a year ago said he couldn’t afford to feed his family on $14.265 million, but apparently now would prefer to remain unemployed rather than join the Clippers.

Add it all up, and the Clippers are sinking in the standings.

There has been suspicion for some time that Dunleavy is not enamored of Maggette’s basketball IQ, a report in the New York Post quoting a Clipper source saying as much before this season began, but Dunleavy has not only denied being the source but has disputed the quote’s validity.

Whatever, the Clippers had something going early this season, but now as Dunleavy admitted, “We’re at risk,” which might explain why he’s been so interested in courting the chokers.

Dunleavy is also in the final year of his contract, the Clippers having the option to rehire him next season, and immediate success would certainly go a long way toward improving his long-range contract demands.

Cassell, who received acclaim early on as a cheerleader, took good-natured offense recently when Page 2 suggested the Clippers would eventually return to earth as the Clippers we’ve come to know.

“You talk about the Clippers,” Cassell said, “like the ...”

“Arizona Cardinals,” I said when he struggled to find the right words, and I’m always glad to help when I can.

The Clippers were 9-2, then 14-5, and now are talking to two guys who have the ability to go Terrell Owens on them.

“If for some reason David Stern called off the season today, we’d be in the playoffs,” Cassell said. “I have confidence in this team.”

Then why the frantic calls to Sprewell?

“Management asked me to reach out to him. Hey, you take 20-some points out of the lineup because of the injury to Corey, and a team is going to struggle.”

No argument here, and if the Clippers continue to struggle, it’s not as if we haven’t seen that before. Bad teams, though, panic.

Maggette will eventually heal, the Clippers will have the ability to excite once again, and I like the idea of Sprewell and Artest remaining spectators.

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PHIL JACKSON declined an invitation to appear on the father/daughter gabfest on 570 -- the Lakers’ station -- this morning, a spokesman reporting that Jackson found the radio show’s host “too negative.”

I had no idea he felt that way about the daughter, but this might explain why Miss Radio Personality isn’t married. I worry, though, that Jeanie Buss will get her wish one day and marry a guy who can’t handle being teased.

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I HAD no interest in returning to the race track, especially since I’ve been away for a while and don’t know who is cheating and who isn’t these days.

But Steve Brener, a PR guy with the Dodgers back in Tom Lasorda’s day when a Dodger PR guy had something to promote, insisted I join him at Santa Anita to watch the next Kentucky Derby winner.

I’ll get to Stevie Whatadisappointment in a minute.

Before the big race I ran into jockey Alex Solis, who has a history of making people feel miserable, and I know this because I have played golf with him on several fine days turned sour because of a lucky bounce of the ball.

Solis has two titanium rods and eight screws in his back, which obviously makes him a better golfer and is something Dwyre might want to consider. It also apparently gives Solis an edge when riding a horse.

Solis rode Brother Derek to a shocking win over Stevie Whatadisappointment on a day when everyone showed up to watch racing’s next superstar.

“That’s too bad,” Solis said with a grin when told he ruined the day for everyone. “One of the things that motivated me [to return from a broken back suffered more than a year ago] was to find an incredible horse, and God willing, this is it. The way he’s running now, he’s a Kentucky Derby horse.”

As for Stevie Whatadisappointment, trainer Doug O’Neill, one of the nice guys in the business -- and you know where they finish -- said, “In our minds he’s still a champion.”

I’m sure that makes the folks who lost money on Stevie Whatadisappointment feel a lot better.