He Takes Fight of the Irish Upon Himself

The NCAA is on a mission to rid its ranks of “hostile and abusive” nicknames and mascots, and Mike Downey of the Chicago Tribune suggests that it also turn its attention to Notre Dame and “that stupefying, stereotypical mascot of theirs.”

That would be the leprechaun, which Downey says is mischievous and up to no good.

“And what of that big, crooked stick in his hand?” the columnist asks. “He doesn’t carry that cudgel because he is lame.... Look at that little fool do his dance. He moves fine. No, a shillelagh looks like a weapon to me. You wouldn’t let a Seminole or an Illini walk around a football stadium with a bow and arrow, would you?”

Certainly not anymore.

More mascots: Playboy, in its August issue, published results of a survey of 768 Native Americans, 90% of whom said they were not offended by the Washington Redskins’ mascot.

Trivia time: Over the last 35 seasons, which NFL coach has the highest winning percentage after holding a lead at some point during the fourth quarter?

Too many headers? Retired soccer star Zinedine Zidane told France Football magazine that he had returned to the French national team for World Cup qualifying on the advice of a mysterious someone at his bedside.

“At 3 in the morning, I suddenly woke up and spoke to someone,” Zidane said. “I had to obey this voice that advised me.”

Who was behind the voice?

“Until my last breath, I won’t say,” he vowed. “It’s too intense.”

He later confessed it was his brother.

Stopped cold: In reference to a race in which a 95-year-old Japanese man set an age-group record by covering 100 meters in 22.04 seconds, Greg Cote of the Miami Herald wrote, “His nearest rival stopped after 75 meters on account of natural causes.”

Wise guy: Sheldon Napastuk of the CFL’s Calgary Stampeders shared a story in the Calgary Sun about a former Iowa State teammate who was pressing his rear against a bus window when he pushed too hard, broke the glass and suffered an injury that required stitches.

Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times saw the story and wondered whether the affliction was listed on the team injury report “as a pane in the rear.”

More juice, please: The stretch run has begun for baseball teams hoping to make the playoffs. Says comedian Alex Kaseberg, “This is the time of year the players need to double the amount of steroids they don’t know they’re taking.”

Looking back: On this date in 1995, Ernie Els set a PGA Tour record with the lowest three-day score in a major: a 197 that left him with a three-stroke lead in the PGA Championship at Riviera Country Club. He lost the lead as Steve Elkington and Colin Montgomerie set a 72-hole tournament record with 267 totals. Elkington won in a playoff.

Trivia answer: Mike Martz of the St. Louis Rams, with a .914 winning percentage, according to James McKinley, author of the Pro Football Prospectus.

And finally: Cincinnati Red reliever David Weathers after being sidelined because of an injury: “They say you can’t pull fat. I found out that’s a lie.”