It’s Enough to Turn Southland Sports Fans Purple

You’ve heard of the red states vs. the blue states. What about the red team vs. the blue team in Southern California? There are parallels.

The Angels are identified with the color red, like the Republicans, and reside in a more conservative region (Orange County) than the Dodgers.

The Dodgers, true to their colors, are a blue-collar outfit with several players at near-minimum-wage levels because owner Frank McCourt is reluctant to spend money -- unlike Angel owner Arte Moreno.

And, the Angels (like the GOP) have enjoyed success of late, while the Dodgers (like the Democrats) have been foundering.

Judging from the letters to the editor, a lot of Dodger fans would like to see the emergence of a leader of the blue team.

Wacky deals: Gioia Light noticed the computer at one video store seemed to be block-busted (see accompanying).

Don’t get the wrong idea: I’m sure the “grass” mentioned in this ad is the type you mow (see accompanying).

You are not here: “While returning to L.A. from Cedar City, Utah,” wrote Margaret Sargent, “we thought we were on Route 89 when we passed this sign. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard of a sign telling you where you are not. Thank goodness, though, since it saved us miles of backtracking” (see photo).

The wrong road is one thing ... : In Juneau, Alaska, Barry Stone of Culver City found some folks who might be on the wrong bus (see photo).

Oldies but wrongies: Discussion of a misheard Jimi Hendrix lyric -- “Excuse me while I kiss this guy” (it really ends “ ... while I kiss the sky”) -- reminded Dennis Drissi of Oxnard that the mythical line has even inspired a website.

On www.kissthisguy.com, listeners confess the following flubs:

* From Neil Diamond’s “Solitary Man”: “Well Linda was mine til the time that I found her, holding Jim, loving him” misheard as “Well Linda was mine til the time that I found her, holding gin, loving him.”

* From the Beach Boys’ “Surfin’ USA”: “Huarache sandals too” misheard as “Her raunchy sandals too.”

* From Paul Simon’s “Kodachrome”: “Mama don’t take my Kodachrome away” misheard as “Mama don’t take my chromosomes away.”

* From Barry Manilow’s “Looks Like We Made It”: That phrase misheard as “Looks like tomatoes.”

* From the Andrews Sisters’ “Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen”: That phrase misheard as “My dear Mr. Shane”

miscelLAny: You may recall that I found “Canceled Flight -- 101 Tried and True Pigeon Killin’ Methods” on the Barnes & Noble website and noticed that fans of this book had also bought “Do Elephants Jump?” There is a connection of sorts. “Elephants” author Dave Feldman e-mailed me that his book is about the little imponderables of life, one of which is: “Why don’t you ever see baby pigeons?”

Steve Harvey, holding gin, loving him, can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at [email protected].