‘Miami Vice’ Meets ‘Dumb and Dumber’

Los Angeles City Councilman Antonio Villaraigosa, running way ahead of Mayor Jim Hahn in the polls, has just committed the bonehead move of the campaign.

How bad was it?

I’ve been around a while and seen some gems, but this one goes on the top shelf of the trophy case.

Villaraigosa has quite appropriately beaten up Mayor Hahn for fundraising and contract-awarding practices that have sparked an ongoing City Hall corruption probe.

It’s about trust and leadership, Villaraigosa has told us ad nauseam.

And then what did he do?

He created his own fundraising fiasco, finally agreeing under pressure Thursday to return campaign donations that had the odor of bad smelt.

Look, if you’re running a one-issue campaign, with no second paragraph in the platform, it’s a good idea not to undermine yourself on that one issue.

But Villaraigosa, who raised questions for months about where Hahn’s money comes from and what his donors hoped to buy with it, found himself trying to explain why more than 20 Floridians have helped bankroll his campaign, signing checks for $1,000 or $2,000.

Floridians.

They work for a company that operates gift shops.

And why exactly would they give a hoot about Villaraigosa?

“They think it’s time for a change,� Villaraigosa said at a news conference Wednesday after the story broke in the Daily Breeze.

Help me out here, Tony Rapp. What’s their motive?

“People are supporting me,� Villaraigosa went on, reminding us why it is sometimes better to remain silent, “because people have seen over the last four years we have an administration that’s adrift.�

I wasn’t aware that it was a big topic of conversation in Florida, but what do I know? Maybe if I were to walk down famed Calle Ocho in Miami, I’d hear the buzz.

“Hey, Carlos, I’ve had it up to here with the Hahn administration, how about you?�

“His administration is adrift, Pablo. I’m worried about the implications for Florida. Let’s send money to Antonio.�

Ace Smith, the Villaraigosa campaign manager, made the unfortunate mistake of trying to clear up the confusion.

“Many people have donated to his campaign,� Smith said, “because they believe Los Angeles needs a fresh start and a mayor who can get this city moving again.�

I’m only going to say this once more.

Are you ready, Antonio and Ace?

THEY’RE FROM FLORIDA!

Given the ridiculously implausible explanations, we were left to wonder if perhaps the president of one of the Florida companies, a man named Sean Anderson, might be interested in stirring up some business in Los Angeles.

Anderson, as a matter of fact, used to work for the company that now has a gift shop and newsstand contract at LAX.

Is this beginning to come into focus?

Anderson, who donated to the Hahn campaign four years ago, seems to like the front-running Antonio this time around. In addition to his employees’ support of Villaraigosa, Anderson personally donated $2,000 to Antonio’s campaign. Within days of writing the checks, an amazing thing happened.

The Airport Commission had decided to extend existing concession contracts at the airport, but Villaraigosa called on the City Council to review the decision and maybe consider new bids.

A cynic -- actually, not a cynic, but anyone with a pulse -- might suggest Villaraigosa was influenced by campaign donations.

“Outrageous,� Smith said.

Yes, preposterous. Impossible. Unthinkable.

It’s also outrageous, I suppose, to think the Florida employees might have been acting on orders from their boss when they wrote those checks to Antonio. That would make it an awful lot like when developer Mark Abrams had his staff write checks to the Hahn campaign -- for which he was dinged a record $270,000 by the city Ethics Commission.

I tried getting hold of a couple of Anderson’s employees in Miami, but they’ve been somewhat elusive of late.

“Wow,� Anderson employee William Pineda told the Daily Breeze when asked why a Floridian would send money to Villaraigosa. “You probably called me at a bad time.�

Yeah, probably so. I apparently called Pineda at a bad time, too, and he didn’t return the call.

Neither did the Miami guy I really wanted to talk to. Amarfio “A.D.� Scott told The Times he sent $2,000 to Villaraigosa because former Laker star Magic Johnson supported Villaraigosa.

That’s plausible, right?

Sure it is, until you realize Scott wrote the checks to Antonio before Magic Johnson endorsed Villaraigosa.

I love this kind of story. Every time someone explains, it gets worse.

If Villaraigosa was a smart cookie -- actually, any dope could have figured this out -- he would have called a news conference the minute the story broke.

At this news conference, Villaraigosa would have blamed someone on his staff for accepting the donations, he would have fired half a dozen people and he would have promised to immediately give every last cent of the money back.

Instead we got nothing but the contention that Florida was ready for a change at L.A. City Hall.

Then, late Thursday afternoon, someone in Camp Villaraigosa finally realized what stooges they looked like.

“At this time, we have not been able to ascertain that anything was done improperly,� said Smith’s damage-control statement.

Whewww, what a relief. Nothing improper took place.

“However, out of an abundance of caution, we have decided to go the extra length and return the money from employees of Travel Traders.�

This is big of them, isn’t it?

Up to their necks in Florida alligators, and still they go the extra length and return the money.

Like Antonio says, it’s about trust and leadership.

Reach the columnist at [email protected] and read previous columns at latimes.com/lopez.