Michael Reagan may be misdirecting his rage
I read Michael Reagan’s anguished tirade against homosexuals with genuine compassion and understanding (“A Separate Peace,†by Anne-Marie O’Connor, Aug. 31).
As someone who grew up in a family poisoned by sexual abuse -- my late stepfather was the predator -- I empathize with the anger and shame that still gnaws at Ronald Reagan’s oldest son, stemming from his abuse at age 7 at the hands of a male pedophile.
Yet Reagan’s declaration “I am homophobic†-- which he attributes to his childhood sexual trauma -- only shows how much more self-examination and healing lie ahead if he’s to ever be truly whole and healthy.
My predatory stepfather was heterosexual. His victim: my sister. He was a virile “man’s man,†a former college football and wrestling star, World War II veteran and political conservative who flew an American flag on every national holiday. But behind closed doors in our suburban house, this rabid law-and-order Republican was committing the most heinous crime possible against his own stepdaughter, short of murder, scarring her emotionally for life and eventually shattering our fragile family.
Because my sister was victimized by a straight man, should she have blamed and shunned heterosexuals forever, including the fine man who has been her loving husband for more than three decades, as she’s worked so courageously on her own healing? Knowing the truth about my late stepfather, should I assume that all heterosexual parents (stepparents, teachers, coaches) are molesting the children under their authority?
Of course not. It would be unfair and illogical to indict them all, even when one considers that, statistically, heterosexuals are responsible for the majority of reported sexual abuse incidents. Individuals molest, not groups.
Yet driven by his own unresolved anger toward one man, Michael Reagan paints an entire group of people -- many of them abuse victims themselves -- with one broad brush, blind to the hatred he encourages and the undeserved pain he inflicts.
I’m no apologist for child molesters, whether they prey on boys or girls. In recent years, I’ve written two novels, “Blind Eye†and “The Limits of Justice,†that revolve around pedophiles, including Catholic priests, who primarily abuse boys. I’ve studied the subject, written articles on it, and my outrage remains palpable. But I also know that pedophiles come in all stripes, with no particular sexual orientation, impossible to categorize, except as criminals.
I also know something about the Reagan family that wasn’t addressed in the Calendar piece. I was friendly with Patti Davis during much of her father’s presidency and privy to the repressive atmosphere in which she was raised.
On one memorable occasion, I was with Patti in her Santa Monica bungalow when she was on the phone with her mother, Nancy, in the White House, getting a tongue-lashing for spending the night with a prominent musician. Even though Patti was in her 30s and unmarried, the first lady was mortified that her daughter’s indiscretion might become public.
Later that evening, on our way to dinner, Patti realized that Nancy Reagan was using the Secret Service to keep watch and file a daily log on her daughter’s life, including where and with whom she slept; a Secret Service agent who was with us confirmed it. From Patti, I heard even more disturbing tales about the repressive Reagan household in which she grew up and in which Michael himself admits feeling shunned and unloved as a child.
My guess is that the roots of Michael’s lingering shame are more complex than he realizes. Perhaps he needs to look beyond that one childhood experience with a pedophile for some answers and beyond gays as a convenient scapegoat and target for his understandable but misdirected rage. If he does, he may finally begin to truly heal. I hope so.
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John Morgan Wilson is the Edgar Award-winning author of the Benjamin Justice mystery novels. His next novel, “Moth and Flame,†will be published in early December. He lives in West Hollywood.
