Stupid dog stuff

Who questions the wisdom of life jackets for sailing dogs or pull-on booties for pups that hike on snow or rough terrain?

But many items created by the $30-billion pet goods industry for outside use are just silly. We invited Mr. Winkle (pictured), the L.A.-based calendar model and loose-tongued embodiment of cute -- and therefore the antithesis of the Outdoors dog -- to pose with a few things we never want to see in the park or on the trails.

Orange and blue Chuckit! Flying Squirrel, $13, (888) 839-9638, www.petsmart.com; Kibble Kaddie, $34, (888) 783-3932, www.ruffwear.com; Mutt Hutt, $88 and $98, (888) 783-3932, www.ruffwear.com; Hanukkah Doggie Treats, $75, (954) 938-6270, www.kosherpets.com; Doggles, $19, For Pets Only, 1903 Hillhurst Ave., L.A., (323) 664-4211.

Bow-Lingual: the Dog Translator, a collar attachment and hand-held receiver that converts barks to phrases such as “Give me the stars and the moon,� $100, (800) 982-1906, www.thedogtranslator.com; Ralph Lauren Cashmere Sweater for Dogs, $95, (888) 475-7674, www.polo.com

-- Scott Doggett