TWO-MINUTE DRILL

Detroit 23, Chicago 20 (OT): James Stewart laments Lions’ lack of respect. Uh, James, you’re 2-4.

Buffalo 23, Miami 10: Ray Lucas was valedictorian of the Neil O’Donnell School of Quarterbacking.

Atlanta 30, Carolina 0: NFL makes new rule to help competitive balance: Michael Vick plays blindfolded.

N.Y. Jets 20, Minnesota 7: Randy Moss points out offense has 11 players. How many make $75 million?

St. Louis 37, Seattle 20: Marc Bulger apparently is no Dieter Brock, T.J. Rubley or even Jim Everett.

Denver 37, Kansas City 34 (OT): Sharpe sets NFL record. Next challenge: Finding helmet that fits his ego.

New Orleans 35, San Fran. 27: Brooks throws three touchdown passes, refuses Owens’ autograph request.

Baltimore 17, Jacksonville 10: Unitas statue put outside stadium, Siragusa statue put at snack bar.

Cleveland 34, Houston 17: Texans are so bad that they make Tim Couch look downright mediocre.

San Diego 27, Oakland 21 (OT): Al Davis curses the day Marty Schottenheimer’s parents met.

Arizona 9, Dallas 6 (OT): Gramatica shows why game’s name is “football” and can be as dull as soccer.

Green Bay 30, Washington 9: Ramsey running new Spurrier offense, the “Fumble N Stumble.”

Philadelphia 20, Tampa Bay 10: Gruden must have forgotten to bring his offensive IQ from Oakland.

Indianapolis at Pitts., tonight, 6, Ch. 7: Doubts remain if Tommy “He Hate Me” Maddox is for real.

Open -- New England, Cincinnati, N.Y. Giants, Tennessee.