Bol Will Soon Be Klutz in New Sport

Jeff Gordon in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch: “Former NBA center Manute Bol, 40, apparently needs money, having donated his NBA earnings to the Sudanese Liberation Army back home.

“And the Central Hockey League’s Indianapolis Ice needs a sideshow to sell tickets.

“So the team signed the 7-foot-7 Bol as a hockey player. Can Bol even skate? That’s pretty doubtful, since simply running was an adventure for this guy.”

Trivia time: Who holds the Pacific 10 record for touchdown passes in a season?

Picking on Pete: Cincinnati Reds’ broadcaster Joe Nuxhall, who pitched for the club as a 15-year-old during World War II, has announced he’ll retire after the 2004 season.

At a roast for Pete Rose, Nuxhall once said, “Here’s how smart Pete is: When they had that big power blackout in New York, Pete was stranded for 13 hours on an escalator.”

Sad and soaking: Former Georgia football coach Vince Dooley sympathized with Kentucky Coach Guy Morriss, whose players gave him a Gatorade shower moments before a 75-yard, multi-deflected pass gave Louisiana State an unlikely victory over the Wildcats.

Dooley told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, “It’s bad enough to get Gatorade dumped on you when you win.”

Reason to drink: Florida Panthers’ defenseman Sandis Ozolinsh is frustrated by the team’s losing ways, writes Rick Sadowski of the Rocky Mountain News.

“I hate losing, and I don’t know why we keep playing so badly,” Ozolinsh said. “Maybe we should drink more coffee. You laugh, but we have to change something.”

Airhead: Dan Daly in the Washington Times: “For Steve Spurrier, it’s all about him, isn’t it? It was hard not to come to that conclusion Sunday after watching the Redskins throw pass after ill-advised pass in their 26-7 loss at Jacksonville.

“Spurrier’s strategy seemed less an offensive game plan than an exercise in ego; he decided he was going to throw the ball -- even though he was up against the 26th-ranked run defense in the league -- and darned if he didn’t do it.”

Really big: How far out of shape was Mets’ first baseman Mo Vaughn last season?

Says Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News: “If Vaughn weighed in at 275 pounds [his listed weight] last season, so did Rhode Island.”

Put down: Jay Leno, on a fan who attacked a player during a Canadian Football League game: “Police said he had an IQ of 100, which of course is only 65 Canadian.”

Futility: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune: “Midwestern farmers are now using equipment that turns manure into energy. You know, the reverse of the Bears.”

Trivia answer: Ryan Leaf of Washington State, 33, in 1997.

And finally: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Kobe Bryant shot 17 for 47 vs. the Celtics. That off-season weight work is paying off. Kobe not only has the build of a blacksmith, but also the touch.”

-- Mal Florence