Police Reports Show a Cast of Colorful Characters Washed Up on Seal Beach

Seal Beach seems to have more than its share of colorful characters, judging from the police blotter in the local Sun newspaper. The latest issue recorded these incidents:

* “A party with loud music and breaking bottles was reported but it turned out to be a female having a party with herself.”

* “A man called to make a report but said he spoke Spanish not English. When spoken to in Spanish, he said he spoke English and not Spanish.”

* “A citizen reported that a male and female were having sexual relations in a vehicle in front of a supermarket before loading their groceries.”

Have to keep your priorities.

KNBC’s new straight man: In one of those disguised promotions that occur so often on local news, Channel 4 anchor Paul Moyer interviewed late-night comedy host Jay Leno the other night.

But as the media Web site ronfineman.com pointed out, the puff piece veered off in a direction that Moyer probably didn’t expect. Moyer, complimenting Leno on his work habits, said, “When I’ve been here at 8 a.m., I see your car.”

Leno: “When were you ever here at 8 in the morning?”

Moyer: “A few times, during the Simpson trial.”

Leno: “Oh well, eight years ago.”

Fineman observed that, while he was the butt of Leno’s jokes, Moyer “was smart enough” to let the exchange appear on the air, showing he “doesn’t take himself too seriously.”

But the rest of us do, most of us.

Unreal estate: Today’s unusual showings (see accompanying) include:

* A house whose features include a room that seems to have been designed for teenagers (submitted by Bob Abrahams of L.A.).

* A closet that’s on the move (from Reggie Sully of Beverly Hills).

* A foosball table ad, from Allen Wilkinson of Whittier, who adds: “Then again, maybe it’s a roulette table, which has parted many a fool from his or her money.”

* And, finally, a bedroom I don’t think I’d want to see (from Phil Proctor of Beverly Hills).

What about Huntington Beach Adjacent? Regarding the drive by some Costa Mesans to change the city name to Costa Mesa by-the-Sea, Richard Showstack says: “If they want to improve their image, why don’t they rename it Costa Mesa-by-Newport Beach?”

Guerrilla proofreaders report: Some strange uses of the English language spotted in print by this column’s always alert followers:

* A reference to a movie in which a woman indulges in immoral behavior to support her “heroine” habit (spotted by Mary deVall of Santa Monica).

* A church that offers a “mediation” service (deVall).

* A fence made out of “rot iron” (Doug Stokes).

* A church dedicated to “wining” lost souls (Lisette Hepler).

* A play appearing at the Prince of “Peach” Church (Armida and Bill Thomson).

* A house with “double pain” windows (K. Baker).

* And, finally, the appointment of an “Oversite Committee” (from Larry and Janine Mai, who hope it will look into spelling oversights).

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miscelLAny: After reading here the item about the $25 book titled “1,001 Free Things,” Rick Sharafman was reminded of the Abbie Hoffman book that invited readers to ignore the price. Its title: “Steal This Book.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at [email protected].