Ain’t Life Grand at 50-1?

LOUISVILLE, Ky. — His room is on the backside of the backside, a stall facing the street, miles from the cameras, days from the finish line.

His name tag is a homemade wreath tacked to a wall above a pitchfork and a rake.

His protection is a homemade blanket one size too small.

He arrived at Churchill Downs not because of victory, but because of a recent late-night phone call from owner Darwin Olson to trainer Wilson Brown.

“Let’s run him in the Derby,” Olson said.

“What Derby?” Brown said.

His name is It’sallinthechase.

But it should be changed to Ain’t Never Been.

“I ain’t never been to a Kentucky Derby,” said Brown, the trainer from Cement, Okla.

“I ain’t never been neither,” said Rusty Paul, the red-headed groom who lives wherever her trailer is parked.

The owner ain’t never had a horse in the Derby.

The jockey ain’t never ridden in a Derby.

The jockey, in fact, ain’t never even officially ridden this horse.

It’sallinthechase, a 50-1 longshot to be ridden by Eddie Martin Jr. Saturday, is a plodding example of the excesses that are supposedly ruining this race.

And a wonderful example of how they only make it better.

Although It’sallinthechase was one of the bottom three horses that fattened this field to 20, this is not about an excess of bodies.

It’s about an excess of hope.

“Everybody writes that we have no chance,” Brown said. “But, you know, the horse can’t read.”

It’s about an excess of innocence.

“I got here and they gave me a car to use all week for free,” Brown said. “I thought that was the most amazing thing until I realized they also put gas in it.”

It’s about an excess of humor.

“I saw three ladies watching him work the other day, reading their form,” Paul said. “I bet that under his name, it read, ‘Ha, ha, ha.’”

What such an assessment lacks in details, it makes up for in accuracy.

In his last race, the Arkansas Derby three weeks ago, It’sallinthechase finished ninth.

He hasn’t finished higher than third in any race this year.

He has, in fact, never won a race that wasn’t held at minor-league Remington Park in Oklahoma.

“After the Arkansas Derby, I cried all the way home, because I didn’t think we had a chance at Kentucky,” Paul said.

But she was forgetting what Bob Baffert says is the best thing about this big event.

“It’s a race that allows owners to dream in Technicolor,” he says.

And so, back home in Rochester, Minn., where he owns an insurance agency, Darwin Olson dreamed.

“I thought about how my heart pumps so fast when my horse is running, it’s like I’m having a child, and you can’t put a price on that,” Olson said.

He thought about how his family--and Brown’s family--might never have a chance at a Kentucky experience again.

“We’re first-timers, and maybe only-timers,” he said.

He then rechecked his balance sheet and saw that, with $117,000 in graded stakes earnings, It’sallinthechase was 18th on the top 20 money list and would qualify for the race.

Some say that system, because it allows for so many horses, is dangerous.

I say, because it allows for so many of those Technicolor dreams, it’s splendid.

It’s like the NBA, at the end of every season allowing every team with 39 wins to take one shot at the Lakers.

It’s like It’sallinthechase is the Clippers.

“Say what you want, it isn’t like we didn’t earn our way here,” Olson said.

Thus it happened that Olson paid more to enter the Derby ($30,100) then he paid for the horse that he entered ($27,000).

A horse that will compete against horses purchased for as much as $2.3 million.

Trainer Brown heard the news, and phoned his brother.

“He has the truck that we needed to haul the horse here from Oklahoma,” he said. “I guess some people actually fly their horses here, huh?”

Then, when he realized that regular jockey Gerald Melancon couldn’t ride at Churchill Downs because of a past infraction here, Brown had to make another phone call.

“I needed to find me a boy to put on the horse,” he said. “Somebody told me that Eddie Martin really liked our horse, so I called him.”

While Brown is a respected trainer at smaller tracks, his most famous winning trip involved not a race, but a fight.

A losing trainer once insulted him after a race, so Brown decked him in the winner’s circle.

And while Olson is considered a good owner, his most famous victory occurred in the Indiana Derby.

Did you even know there was an Indiana Derby?

Regardless, the horse is here, and his handlers are taking no chances.

It’sallinthechase was walking toward the track for a workout the other morning when a black cat crossed his path.

“I said, ‘No way, we’re getting out of here,’” recalled groom Paul, who immediately turned the horse around and entered the track from the other side.

Then, while getting accustomed to the race-day paddock, Brown summoned the horse into stall No. 13.

“I told him, ‘I’m not bringing him in there, so you better move,’” Paul said. “So he moved.”

She told the story and howled, her laughter carrying through the backside of the backside. It is the music of a horse that, on this most serious of weeks, is also a message.

It’sallinthechase, indeed.

*

Bill Plaschke can be reached at [email protected]

*

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX)

*--* Kentu cky Derby Field Field for the 128th Kentu cky Derby , to be run Satur day at Churc hill Downs in Louis ville , Ky. Post time: 3 p.m. PDT. TV: Chann el 4 (cove rage start s at 2 p.m.) . Dista nce: 1 1/4 miles . Weigh ts: All carry 126 pound s. Purse : $1,20 5,000 if 20 start PP HORSE JOCKEY TRAINER ODDS 1 Johannesburg Gary Stevens Aidan O’Brien 6-1 2 Wild Horses Rene Douglas Todd Pletcher 50-1 3 Perfect Drift Eddie Delahoussaye Murray Johnson 15-1 4 Lusty Latin Glenn Corbett Jeff Mullins 30-1 5 War Emblem Victor Espinoza Bob Baffert 20-1 6 Ocean Sound Alex Solis James Cassidy 50-1 7 Request For Parole Robby Albarado Steve Margolis 20-1 8 Essence Of Dubai David Flores Saeed bin Suroor 15-1 9 Medaglia d’Oro Laffit Pincay Jr Robert Frankel 6-1 10 Buddha Pat Day H. James Bond 5-1 11 Private Emblem Donnie Meche Steve Asmussen 20-1 12 Castle Gandolfo Jerry Bailey Aidan O’Brien 20-1 13 Proud Citizen Mike Smith Wayne Lukas 30-1 14 Harlan’s Holiday Edgar Prado Ken McPeek 9-2 15 Came Home Chris McCarron Paco Gonzalez 5-1 16 Saarland John Velazquez Shug McGaughey 15-1 17 Danthebluegrassman Kent Desormeaux Bob Baffert 50-1 18 It’sallinthechase Eddie Martin Jr Wilson Brown 50-1 19 Easy Grades Jorge Chavez Ted H. West 20-1 20 Blue Burner Corey Nakatani Bill Mott 30-1

*--*

*

Horse Background

Horse...It’sallinthechase.

Odds...50-1.

Jockey...Eddie Martin Jr.

Trainer...Wilson Brown.

Owner...Darwin Olson.

Record...14-2-3-2.

Earnings...$192,160.

Sire...Take Me Out.

Dam...Limestone Landing.

*

Hollywood Park Changes

Because of the Kentucky Derby, the Hollywood Park schedule has changed for today and Saturday:

Today: Gates open: 8 a.m.; First import: 8:30 a.m.; First live race: 1:15 p.m.; Kentucky Oaks: 2:43 p.m.

Saturday: Gates open 8 a.m.; First import: 8:30 a.m.; First live race: 1:15 p.m.; Kentucky Derby: 3:08 p.m.