Purse Becomes Ishii’s Accessory to Murmurs

DENVER — Because Kazuhisa Ishii has made it known he can’t win if he feels anxious, I didn’t say a thing when he grabbed the gold handle of his cute little black patent-leather purse, and walked out of the Dodger clubhouse Tuesday night.

Now don’t misunderstand, there’s nothing wrong with carrying a purse. My wife does, and I love her dearly. I’ve got a friend named Steven, and if he showed up carrying a purse, I wouldn’t be surprised.

But I’m still trying to picture Kevin Brown walking past the Colorado Rockies’ clubhouse the night before he’s scheduled to pitch with purse in hand. Believe me--with just the right handbag, maybe a strap over his shoulder--I think Brownie could pull it off, but that’s probably left to someone else to suggest.

The thing is, intimidating appearances count for something in sports, and I never saw the Mad Hungarian carrying his glove to the park in a dainty handbag. I guess if Ishii hadn’t come across as Mr. Shaky in spring training, I wouldn’t have looked at him as some kind of flake when he walked by with his purse.

I will say this, when he was stopped for an autograph, I thought for a second he was going to hand the purse to me. And if someone had seen me, I couldn’t very well tell them it was my wife’s.

Now maybe it’s a cultural thing, Japanese baseball players carrying the kind of purse you might see a young girl wearing on Easter-- complete with matching shoes. I just wish I had looked at Ishii’s shoes Tuesday night. I asked Gaku Tashiro, who writes for Tokyo’s Sankei Sports, if purses were commonly carried by athletes in his country, and he said no, but Ishii uses it “to carry his wallet and cigarettes.”

SO NOW I had this picture in my head of some nervous hurler who chain-smokes and closes his eyes when he pitches, who was probably going to get lit up in Coors Field on Wednesday afternoon.

And then he surrenders four, or maybe it was five, hits in the first inning, and I figure he’s a goner, but then it’s the second, and the third inning, and he has not only settled down, but he’s coming on like John Wayne mowing down Colorado batter after batter to run his record to 3-0 after three games.

We’re talking true grit here in a place that’s almost never forgiving to a pitcher, and so I told him how impressed I was after the game, and how nervous I had been the night before.

Scott Akasaki, the Dodgers’ Japanese interpreter, told Ishii of my anxiety, and right away he got the joke. And when I added, “I like my Dodger pitchers to be a little more intimidating,” Ishii grinned. “Then I will carry two purses,” he said, and I know that would scare me away.

Ishii continued talking with Akasaki, the two laughing as they exchanged words, with Akasaki saying Ishii could feel my concern during the game, “and when he had so many two-ball counts on the Rockies, he knew how nervous the media had to be.”

So now we know he has a disarming personality to go with a roundhouse curve, but what’s the deal with closing his eyes when he pitches?

“I have better control with them closed,” he joked, and when you’re 3-0, you control everything, including the postgame news conference.

DODGER PITCHING coach Jim Colborn, who had suggested a mechanical adjustment to Ishii during the game that contributed to his gutsy performance, acknowledged he was looking at a different pitcher three weeks ago.

“The guy had his eyes closed because he was afraid to see what might happen when he threw the ball,” Colborn said. “We pumped him up with confidence after that, and told him he was going to let this whole baseball experience in this country go by if he didn’t open his eyes.”

Colborn speaks Japanese, so when he goes to the mound he can communicate with Ishii, which doesn’t explain why the entire infield joined the conversation.

“I’ve never heard Colborn speak Japanese,” Eric Karros said, “so I just wanted to hear it. I couldn’t understand any of it, so I went back to first base.”

COLBORN SAID he speaks Japanese at about a third-grade level. “Let me tell you what happened with this guy,” Colborn said with the understanding I’d make it sound as if he were speaking English. “Most pitchers starting in January are getting mentally ready to pitch. This guy didn’t know where he was going to play, how much money he’d make, whether he’d get a visa, what the food was going to be like, and he couldn’t focus.

“After his last exhibition game, it was like, gosh, I better start preparing myself. That’s when his work ethic improved and his concentration sharpened.”

The show he put on against the Rockies spoke to Ishii’s experience as a pitcher in Japan. There was every opportunity to get rattled, but he kept the Dodgers tied with the Rockies until L.A. could pull ahead. Then afterward, when asked the smart-aleck, awkward question about his handbag, he threw one more effective curve.

“That’s my bowling bag,” he said.

SHAWN GREEN, Karros and Hiram Bocachica lead the team in home runs with two each. It’s the Dodgers’ version of Murderers’ Row.

WHEN I asked Dodger Manager Jim Tracy if he knew who the starting goalie was for the Kings, he was stumped. Colborn explained why: “The guy wears a mask.”

TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Jim Stock:

“Did you really ask Eric Karros those questions to his face? If so, you’ve crossed the line of common decency.”

I’m sorry. I’ll go back to talking behind his back.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at [email protected].