Munchies: Better Stock Up on Lots of Extra Snacks for That Open House

Had a sale gone up in smoke? The police log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise noted that “an employer reported that one of his Realtors was at a site smoking marijuana.”

Not for the squeamish: It’s time for another episode of Harvey’s Gallery of Horrors (see accompanying), a collection of bizarre foods more commonly known as body parts for:

* Hearing (submitted by Cingular Wireless customer Lisalee Wells of Long Beach)

* Lifting (Rose Butler of Woodland Hills) and

* Walking (Mari Metcalf of West L.A. and Ralph Siegel of Westchester).

And we top it off with a shocking variety of fajitas spotted by June Housman of Fullerton.

Attention, Mayor-elect Hahn: If there’s one thing L.A. is known for, it’s manufacturing the make-believe. So it’s shocking that other cities are taking the lead in the important art of honoring fictional characters in statuary.

Philadelphia has a bronze of Sylvester Stallone’s boxer Rocky, New York has a statue of bus driver Ralph Kramden of “The Honeymooners,” and Minneapolis plans to erect a hat-tossing likeness of Mary Richards of the “Mary Tyler Moore Show.”

And L.A.? Zilch as far as I can tell. No Jack Webb of “Dragnet” requesting just the facts, ma’am, in a shadowy downtown bar. No Jake Gittes of “Chinatown” skulking around the L.A. River. Not even a philandering Arnie Becker (“L.A. Law”) crashing through the floor during a lovemaking bout in the downtown 444 building.

There’s still time, though, Mr. Mayor-elect. There’s no statutory limit for L.A. in this category.

Mr. Wilson’s nemesis: About the closest this area has come to honoring a fictional character is Downey’s Dennis the Menace Park, built four decades ago when the irritating kid had a hit TV show.

But while the park has a marker (see photo), there are no plans to immortalize Dennis in bronze. “It’s a very small park,” said recreation supervisor Teri Hamilton. “We just couldn’t handle a lot of visitors.”

Maybe it’s better that way. Some might consider a statue of Dennis the Menace an appropriate target to menace.

miscelLAny: A self-professed scientist “in the field of tissue preservation” writes Dana Point-based Surfer magazine that he has invented a “Surf Cryogenics System.”

The system is “designed to eliminate wasted time by placing subjects in a state of suspended animation during periods of substandard surf. . . . Subjects are revived only during high-quality surfing conditions.”

It’s ridiculous, of course--the idea that surfers believe there’s nothing more to life than surfing.

What about partying?

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at [email protected].