Top Ten Rules for Governing ‘Reality’
In a memorable scene from “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,†Butch, played by Paul Newman, distracts a prospective foe by pausing to discuss the rules in a knife fight. When his opponent suggests there are no rules, Butch abruptly kicks the fellow in the groin, winning by default.
Some activities lend themselves to regulation and others don’t. But if prime-time television is going to persist in putting on so-called reality shows--and the economic benefits, combined with recent ratings for certain unscripted series such as “Survivor†and “Temptation Island,†suggest they will--then it’s time someone drew up some unofficial guidelines.
While attempting to foster a discussion of ethics in this context might invoke bigger laughs than any new sitcom NBC developed this season, an informal code of conduct regarding how far producers and networks will go in manipulating people’s lives doesn’t sound unreasonable. After all, rules govern how scientists go about experimenting with rats. Should people be exempt just because they’re stupid enough to step into the maze voluntarily?
Come to think of it, maybe so. Yet since no one has seized this frothing bull by the horns, consider the following an attempt to impose a degree of order on the proceedings for viewers, programmers and contestants. After this exercise, we can, we hope, return in the coming months to exploring the vagaries of scripted sitcoms and dramas, assuming there are any in production to explore.
Here, then, are what might be called the “rules of realityâ€:
1. These are television shows. They are structured as television shows and follow the rules of television shows. They are not “reality,†but carefully edited to tell stories, meaning situations are manipulated. As such, “unscripted†is probably a more appropriate term than “reality,†though even that doesn’t quite cover it.
2. These are not “ordinary people.†Ordinary people do not choose to let camera crews follow them around potentially cheating on their significant others, live with nine strangers for three months or eat enormous bug larvae. They are unusual people, willing to do unusual things in the name of garnering media exposure.
It’s no accident producers talk about “casting†these shows. Just think of the participants as auditioning for celebrity on national TV, with the added warning that any fame awarded the few overnight stars created will be equally fleeting.
3. Television executives shouldn’t be coy about what’s going on here. People have a taste for junk food, and you’re feeding it. Don’t try dressing it up like “Masterpiece Theatre.†Many of these concepts amount to a circus freak show. If you can’t bring yourselves to embrace that, at least acknowledge it.
A year ago, Fox Entertainment Group Chairman Sandy Grushow expressed concern that the network’s association with lowbrow programming, such as “When Animals Attack,†“diminishes us in the eyes of our audience.†Last week his boss, News Corp. President Peter Chernin, told Fox affiliates regarding the sensationalism of “Temptation Island,†“Get over it. It’s entertainment.â€
Translation: If the audience is big enough and falls within targeted young-adult demographics, we don’t care if some of this stuff diminishes us in the eyes of viewers such as David Forel, who e-mailed from Houston to say he felt “Temptation Island’s†tempters were in essence prostitutes and Fox is “renting human bodies for sex in the name of ratings.â€
Well, sure, but how many people in that profession make this much money in a single night?
4. Once you choose to willingly take part in one of these series, you hereby forfeit your privacy, in the same way Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt deal with nut jobs trying to snap pictures from across the street. If you are accused of abusing your kid, a la “Survivor’s†Richard Hatch, or belonging to a group with extreme political views, such as “Big Brother’s†William Collins, the press will pester you.
Naivete may have once been an excuse, but no longer. Anyone appearing becomes a “character†in a TV show and should be ready for the consequences. As Super Chicken would say, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it.
5. If a program kills or maims someone, the result will be really bad publicity. So don’t act shocked to discover the media--which drooled over your show when it was helping USA Today and Entertainment Weekly fly off newsstands--turn on you and act morally indignant. Sorry, that’s how we operate.
6. Try as you might, you can’t control it. Remember Jeff Goldblum’s character in “Jurassic Park,†who keeps talking about “chaos theory†and how complex systems are inherently unpredictable--meaning the risk for disaster always lingers? Substitute these unscripted shows for the dinosaurs and you’ve got the picture.
With virtually every reality show so far something unexpected has happened, from the near-revolt by contestants on “Big Brother†to Hatch’s arrest after taping “Survivor†to Rick Rockwell’s restraining order on “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?†to the couple booted off “Temptation Island†because they had a child. In fact, Fox might want to consider amending its screening process to say no applicants will be “cast†if their names have been followed by the word “defendant†more than three times in the last few years.
Such developments and potential controversy no doubt seem good on occasion, feeding the publicity and sense of drama these programs cultivate. Inevitably, however, it will be really, really bad.
7. When choosing contestants, these shows discriminate. Given a choice, they will invariably pick people who are beautiful, thin and young over the alternative, unless the show happens to be “The Big Diet,†a concept that’s been kicked around at Fox in which contestants vie to see who can lose the most weight.
Granted, a few minority characters will always make the cut, but seldom exceeding their representation in society. Even geography plays a part, meaning big-city candidates are favored over those from small TV markets. Having all of Rockford, Ill., tune in doesn’t do much to spike ratings.
Before anyone cries foul, remember, if television were fair all the female cops, lawyers and doctors wouldn’t look like runway models and the guys wouldn’t have washboard stomachs.
8. Expect diminishing returns. Like it or not, programmers will eventually have to place people in disturbing situations to keep garnering attention. This is not an alarmist rant about “televised executions†but human nature. After a while, bug-eating will be as old as a pie in the face.
9. A huge accident will outrage the public . . . for about 30 seconds. In a world of media overkill, programmers and producers may just discover you really can get away with murder--and rank first among adults age 18 to 34 to boot.
10. Television executives associated with a tragedy should be held accountable. The public may ultimately be responsible by creating demand for these programs, but only executives can say “Yes†to putting them on and, in the case of broadcast networks, operate over TV stations publicly licensed by the federal government.
As for anyone who might take umbrage regarding these rules, hey, get over it. It’s entertainment.
*
Brian Lowry’s column appears on Wednesdays. He can be reached by e-mail at [email protected].
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