Here’s a Home You Can Really Dig

How hot is real estate in the Southland these days? Bob Ritchie of Valencia noticed an ad for a not-so-cheap house with a dirt floor (see accompanying). You dig?

UNFORTUNATE TIMING: Sure it’s an old expression in the automotive sales game. But, given the current tire recall, Pat O’Raidy of Torrance was a bit surprised to see one Ford dealer using this line in giant letters in its advertising:

“Blow-Out Sale!�

HOW BIG’S THE SHREDDER? Glen Adkins of Westlake Village found a service for lawyers faced with that old problem: What to do with the witnesses after the trial is over? (See accompanying.)

SPEAKING OF UNTIDINESS: Scott Wilson of Long Beach noticed a store that seemed to need some mopping up (see photo). I asked a clerk about the name and he was unable to explain it. But “mess,� which can also refer to a serving of food, dates back to Long Beach’s days as a major U.S. Navy base.

BETTER THAN REALITY TV: You might think of it as a grinding commute. But, if it’s any consolation, a homeless character in Hector Tobar’s novel “The Tattooed Soldier� views the rush hour in downtown L.A. as entertainment. Of course, he’s watching from an open-air couch atop a hill.

“That down there is the Harbor Freeway,� a man named Frank tells a couple of visitors. “The most dangerous stretch of freeway in California. . . . People switching lanes so much they can’t help but run into each other. Trying to get over to the Santa Ana, the Pasadena, the Hollywood. Sideswiping each other. . . . It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.�

FREEWAY LIT 101 (CONT.): But the stretch can have entertainment value for drivers, too.

In her novel “Play It as It Lays,� Joan Didion writes: “Again and again she returned to an intricate stretch just south of the interchange where successful passage from the Hollywood onto the Harbor required a diagonal move across four lanes of traffic. On the afternoon she finally did it without once braking or once losing the beat on the radio, she was exhilarated, and that night slept dreamlessly.�

WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR: And, so, the Dodgers’ once promising season spirals toward another disappointing finish. I’m reminded of the 1998 contest held by the team’s station, KXTA-AM (1150), which asked listeners to recite their most treasured memories of the Dodgers.

One caller hesitated, then confessed to the hosts why he was unable to conjure up any memories: “I’ll be honest guys--I’m only 19.� (Perhaps his children will have better luck over the next few decades.)

The Angels, a more sympathetic group since they’ve played fairly well while hampered by Disney’s stinginess, will also be spectators when the playoffs begin.

Any day now we can expect KABC-TV sportscaster Bill Weir to repeat his eulogy from last baseball season: “Dodgers and Angels highlights at 11. Please watch anyway.�

miscelLAny:

Divorcemag.com, the Web site for Southern California Divorce magazine, reports that divorce parties are in vogue, including one that “offered ‘mind-eraser shots’ (possibly a mixture of vodka and relief), a breakup cake (like a wedding cake, but you are only entitled to half), and ‘Bobbitt love sundaes.’ . . . Games included spousal photo shredding.�

What is a “Bobbitt love sundae?� Some kind of banana split?

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at [email protected].