LAUGH LINES

Started It All: “Shelley Long turned 51 [recently]. For those of you who don’t remember [her], she’s the one who started the trend of quitting TV shows to pursue unsuccessful movie careers.� (Andrew Wisot)

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The Essential David Letterman

Top 10 Signs the N.Y. Times Is Slipping

10. Instead of “All the News That’s Fit to Print,� slogan is “Stuff We Heard From a Guy Who Says His Friend Heard About It.�

9. President does something on the TV show “West Wing,� and the next day it’s on the front page.

8. It’s 108 pages, and there’s not one single vowel.

7. For every story, the accompanying photo is of Tony Danza.

6. Obituary has become a list of people the editors wish would die.

5. Dick Cheney is consistently referred to as “the dude from those Wendy’s commercials.�

4. Notice on sports page: “All scores are approximate.�

3. Only ad in job classifieds: “Wanted: Someone who knows how to put together a . . . newspaper.�

2. For the last two weeks, paper’s been edited by a disoriented Anne Heche.

1. They’re endorsing George W. Bush.

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