LAUGH LINES

For Sale: “The Unabomber is selling his property in Montana. . . . Remember the Unabomber? He was the guy who played ‘Survivor’ by himself. He did it before it was fashionable.� (Jay Leno)

Stayin’ Alive: “CBS announced that the season finale of ‘Survivor’ is going to be 90 minutes long instead of the usual 60 minutes. Apparently, the contestants need that extra half-hour, because in the final episode, they’ll try to kill New York City rats. Tougher to kill--but meatier.� (Conan O’Brien)

Third Time’s a Charm: “Arnold Schwarzenegger tells “Access Hollywood� that he’s eager to do ‘Terminator 3.’ This time, the Terminator will face another artificial life form that just won’t stop: Al Gore.� (Daily Scoop)

All a Buzz: “Flies have invaded the N.Y. town of Naples. Experts say the flies were attracted by 200 tons of manure spread in a farmer’s field. If 200 tons of manure attract that many flies, wouldn’t the presidential campaign be permanently infested?� (Jerry Perisho)

Forgettables: “Jane Fonda tells the new issue of O magazine that posing with an anti-aircraft gun in Vietnam as a protest of the war was ‘the most horrible thing’ she could have possibly done. How quickly she forgets ‘Barbarella.’ � (Ira Lawson)

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