LAUGH LINES

Better Watch Out: “Right after the CBS ‘Survivor’ show, they’ve got the ‘Big Brother’ [show]. . . . It’s like 10 . . . strangers locked in a house full of surveillance cameras. Every move they make is videotaped. They can’t get out of the house. . . . Geez, it’s like being Frank Gifford.” (David Letterman)

That’s a Gas: “Al Gore, speaking out on the environment, said that he wants vehicles now to run on something called ‘biomass.’ . . . This is a fuel made out of wood and manure. You don’t have to worry about people siphoning any fuel out of your tank now. . . . I feel sorry for the guy who has to do the smog test.” (Jay Leno)

Surprise, Surprise: On the CBS show “Big Brother”: “The participants were surprised when they entered the house and found one man already living there . . . [Kato Kaelin].” (Craig Kilborn)

Back Action: “A company is coming out with something called Wonderpants. . . . These are pants that are designed to work like Wonderbras--but on your rear end. Is this the place you really want to have more cleavage? . . . I think . . . my plumber has a pair of these.” (Leno)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.