LAUGH LINES

Drink to That: During his recent trip to Ireland, President Clinton visited a traditional Irish pub. . . . [When] reached for comment, George W. Bush said, ‘Man, this job is gonna be cool.’ ” (Mark Wheeler)

Life and Death: “There’s good news for smokers--at last. . . . Teams of scientists in Spain have research that indicates drinking a lot of coffee can help protect smokers from getting certain kinds of bladder cancer. . . . That gives them a better chance of living longer--so they can get lung cancer.” (Ira Lawson)

Hidden Messages: “George W. Bush and Al Gore recently delivered speeches signaling the end of one of America’s closest and most contested elections ever. . . . Though, if you play Gore’s speech backward, you can hear the words, ‘I know I really won.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

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