At 72, Only Drives Paterno Wants Are on the Gridiron

Penn State Coach Joe Paterno is continually asked why, at 72, he doesn’t retire.

“I don’t want to be bored,� he answers. “I don’t play golf. I wouldn’t want to wake up in the morning and wait for the 5 o’clock cocktail hour.

“What am I going to do, take a media job? That would set the profession back further. My problem is, there’s nothing else I want to do. And there’s nothing else I can do. I am enjoying myself and I just don’t want to give it up because I’m 72.�

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Triva time: What unusual American League record does Atlanta Brave batting coach Don Baylor hold?

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Watercross?: Move over unlimited hydroplane champions Dave Villwock and Chip Hanauer. Gordon Yancey has a challenge for you--try beating him on a snowmobile.

Yancey, tired of waiting for winter snow to run his Arctic Cat, built a pond in upstate New York and started a new sport he calls watercross.

“It defies the laws of nature,� Yancey said. “Snowmobiles were never meant to go on water.� And, indeed, the winners are those who don’t sink. “A lot of people come just to see the sleds sink,� said one competitor.

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Attention Mr. Blackwell: Jesper Parnevik wears tight pants in crazy colors and a flipped bill on his cap, but he isn’t even the most unusually dressed Swedish golfer. Jarmo Sandelin once played in a pair of black pants with small white squares, two pockets down the side of each leg and two more in the back.

“I bought them in Germany,� Sandelin said.

The tag on the back said, “Mode Wichtig.�

Which means?

“Fashion is important,� he said.

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No kidding: Pacific 10 Commissioner Tom Hansen, commenting on the lack of success by the conference’s football teams: “It’s been disappointing, but it’s a product of very difficult nonconference games on the road. They just didn’t get the job done.�

But how does he explain Washington State losing to Idaho at Pullman, Wash., and Arizona State losing to New Mexico State at Tempe, Ariz.?

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What’s money? Latrell Sprewell was fined $130,000 for missing a six-day New York Knick training camp and not contacting the team during his absence.

Spree wasn’t fazed.

“I’m so close to the fans, it’s like, it doesn’t matter,� the troubled guard said. “As long as I have their support, it’s cool.�

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The other side: Knick Coach Jeff Van Gundy, asked why he thought Sprewell deserved a $130,000 fine, said: “It’s how I feel. I like spaghetti. That’s how I feel.�

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Trivia answer: Most times caught stealing in one inning. Baylor was thrown out twice in the ninth June 15, 1974, while playing for the Baltimore Orioles against the Chicago White Sox.

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And finally: Andy Baumgarten, in the New York Post, notes that in 1951, Bobby Thomson’s home run in a playoff with the Dodgers inspired broadcaster Russ Hodges to shout, “The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!� In today’s world, Hodges would have said, “The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! . . . And the Dodgers win the wild card!�