Taking a Bite Out of Ty Cobb Lore

Proving that sports collectors will buy anything, a woman paid $7,475 this week for the false teeth of baseball great Ty Cobb. But what really caught my eye was that the choppers first passed from Cobb to Al Stump, a sportswriter for the old L.A. Herald Examiner.

Why the gift? Cobb was possibly being sentimental toward Stump, the author of “Cobb: The Life and Times of the Meanest Man Who Ever Played Baseball.�

While working on the book near the end of Cobb’s life, Stump had checked the ailing old ballplayer into a hospital. Cobb demanded whiskey, but the doctors said no.

Finally, Stump and Cobb worked out a stratagem: They would leave a drink of scotch and water on his bedside table in an ordinary water glass.

“Nobody suspected a thing,� Stump wrote. “In the liquid reposed Ty’s false teeth.�

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GETTING PHILOSOPHICAL: It’s the little things in life that fascinate many Only in L.A. readers. They spot them on product labels and pass them along to me (see accompanying).

Susie Tso of Rancho Palos Verdes bought a daring blouse made of “naked silk.�

J.K. Frazier of Lancaster was struck by the fact that his carpet was made of “100% undetermined fibers�--who knows how many of them naked?

In a catalog put out by the indefatigable Martha Stewart, Diana Bahr of L.A. noticed an item that seemed, oddly enough, to be lacking energy. I’m surprised Martha would put up with that.

And, finally, Phyllis Waggner of West Hollywood felt reassured that her pepper contained no dust. Martha would approve of that.

FYI: Dean Collins took me to task for criticizing a student who titled his freshman essay “S.A.�

“That student might be ahead of his time,� Collins argued. “After all, ‘Master of Ceremonies’ or ‘M.C.,’ can be spelled ‘emcee.’ �

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A HOMECOMING: Larry Kobayashi was set to be a starting linebacker for the 1942 Manual Arts High Toilers, but he never got to play. After the U.S. entered World War II, he and his family were sent to an internment camp in Utah. Kobayashi, who later served in the Army (teaching Japanese to U.S. officers), eventually graduated from USC. And now the school is going to give him his 1942 varsity letter Thursday at a luncheon in the City of Commerce. (Information: (562) 429-2841.)

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AD CAMPAIGN YOU WON’T SEE IN DUBUQUE: A United Way billboard on the San Diego Freeway implores motorists: “Show the World L.A.’s Made of More than Silicone and Collagen.� Don’t forget toupee glue.

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SHORTHAND CONFUSION: When the 30ish man ordered a burrito at an El Pollo Loco in L.A., the young woman behind the counter said, “Lover?�

“Uh . . . what?� the man asked with a smile on his face.

“Lover,� she repeated without looking up from the cash register.

When she heard no answer, she looked up and their eyes met. She pointed to the ad on the wall. It said, “Chicken Lover’s Burrito.�

“Oh,� the guy said, a bit let down. “Yes.�

miscelLAny:

I don’t know when used luxury cars became known as “pre-owned� cars. Anyway, the euphemism has been driven one step further. Frank Barron of Van Nuys saw an ad for “pre-loved Jaguars.� But how many were divorced by their owners?

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.